A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I have a great boyfriend he is the total opposite of me and its all good. He is the nerdy type and plays video games on the computer which kinda bothers me but not enough to cause anything. And he adores me and treats me sooo good. So anyway here's my problem.There's this guy ima call him guy. Okay so last year i had i a thing for guy we flirted a little here and there he always would make faces at me from across the class room but we never went out. So recently i found out last year he liked me but was too shy to say anything and still likes me this year. He is in most of my classes and always comes and sits by me and talks to me about all his problems. He also kind of acts like my bf he always offers his jacket and stuff and he knows i have bf too.Now guy and i hung out a little last year...i went over his house and he thought we were going to have sex so i kinda felt used. So now he askes me about stuff me and bf do and details and texts me all the time and once said he loved me. Now i still have had feelings for him through this whole thing and I really like my bf but i'm extremely confused about everything and i don't want to hurt my bf now if he finds out i like or have flirted with guy. My bf is really worried about losing me cuz im his first gf. So what can i do so nobody gets hurt????
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): I'm glad to hear I could help... best of luck to the two of you.and yes... I do love her very, very much. Thanks for the well wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice i thought it over a whole lot and figured that for me to be happy i should just stay with me bf cuz he is there for me and hasn't done anything wrong and i have no reason to not be with him. Now this guy on the other hand basically used me so i don't think i can trust him. But i hope everything with you and your gf work out cuz it sounds like you really love her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): i am currently in a similar situation to you except i seem to be the boyfriend in your story...
my girlfriend and i have only ever had a serious relationship with one another and have been dating for almost 3 years... she is very active and i am not so much... she was beginning to feel stagnant so we decided to see other people for a little, but still be with each other... there was a guy that had given her a grossly expensive gift for christmas who she admitted to have some feelings for... she is "seeing" him briefly now... and i am seeing another girl... we both went on our first "dates" with these people today and i have mixed feelings... i havent talked to her yet so i dont know what happend on her end... i learned some new do's and dont's but at the same time i just miss my gf more and want to make us work even more...
i guess what i am trying to say is that it will hurt someone no matter what... but what you really need to think about is what will hurt YOU less... it isnt your responsibility to give either of them an identity through affection...
come whatever may, you should make yourself your primary concern.... stringing either of these guys along in an attempt to not hurt them will hurt MUCH worse than a clean break...
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