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female
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anonymous
writes: In December 05 my husband told me he was unhappy and not sure if he loved anymore. January 06 I found phone calls to another woman. Approached him and he told me that are just friends. I kicked him out, but recently told him if he wanted to make the marriage work, we have a three year old, he needs to be here. I do want the marriage to work but he refuses to answer why this happened and why he would hurt me so. I just scanned our finances and see that since Dec. 05 he has been taking out 200-300 a week to present. I am a stay at home mom and feel I am glutton for punishment for wanting him one minute, but then I turn around and he is hurting me again the next. I love the old husband and want him back. What should I do? By the way, he tells me we need to take it slow and I am pushing and trying too hard. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, missmeliss0627 +, writes (15 February 2006):
You're husband is a big selfish jerk! Get out as soon as you can! For your sake and your childs. To tell you to take it slow is a slap in the face, YOU ARE HIS WIFE!!!!!not some girl he just met. I hope you dump the 2-timing loser and find someone who treats you like a woman deserves to be treated. Just remember time heals all wounds so if you leave him (I hope you do) you will eventually realize that was the best thing to do for your own sanity and peace of mind! Good luke to you
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (15 February 2006):
 The welfare of your child in this situation is the most important thing, so you need to keep things stable for them.
Next, it would appear that your husband has been/is having an affair as there is no other explanation for his behaviour that you can see or that he is willing to give, at least an explanation that makes sense. Why would he just *be friends* with this woman if it is destroying your relationship? I would expect him to treat your marriage and you with the respect you deserve.
This guy is playing you and I think you should try to break free. I think you should sit and really think about whether you actually want to be with somebody who can so casually and hurtfully betray you and not even be honest enough to admit it when confronted. I understand that you love him, but he is trying to have his cake and eat it.....why do you think he says you are pushing to hard.....unless he is still emotionally involved with someone else?
If you get your own life back on track and regain your own independence ( go back to college, or start a new hobby where you meet others, start going out with or having your friends round- you know the type of thing)you will find that less and less you will need your husband in your life as you will have a life of your own. I am struggling to put this into words, so I am sorry if this doesn't read properly!
Basically, if you show you are moving on, that you dont need him then chances are he will realise what he is missing and come back to you. And if he doesnt come back under his own steam then you ahve a good life sorted and can move on in peace.
Good luck
xxx
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (15 February 2006):
 If this marriage is to work then your husband will have to be more honest with you....because without trust,your marriage doesnt stand a chance.Now you have a small child,so the welfare of your little boy or girl is paramount.Do you believe your husband is still seeing this woman?.....if you do then im afraid you will have to get tough here and tell him that your not willing to put up with him having an affair behind your back while you are at home attending to your 3 year old.If he is willing to make a go of this marriage then he has to meet you half way.If though,he gives you shallow answers and you feel he is still mucking you about...then i suggest that you should rethink your future and whether you are prepared to live like this.Good luck.
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