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female
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anonymous
writes: For once in my life ive met a lovely man who texts me and rings me all the time, ive met him 8 times now over the last couple of months, we have got closer and both really feel for one another, but he has only been split up from his wife since begin a Jan this year, although things havn't been right between them for 2 years, she left him and his two older children havn't spoken to him since.He is sad and reckons im his ray of sunshine that keeps him going. He text me today saying he saw his daughter in Tescos and she gave him a cuddle, he text me saying he feels so much happier. I have said to himI don't want to get hurt and i could be your rebound but he insists im not a rebound he really likes me a lot. I do feel though that im giving him the love and attention he is lacking and once he feels stronger and gets his kids back, he may not need me anymore, then i will be hurt. He says he doesn't want his wife back at all. Part of me is so happy as i never thought i would find such a lovely man but on the other hand im sad, as I feel it's too good to be true and all end in tears for me anyway. He brought me a lovely necklace the other day and came all the way to see me on his motorbike before going to his parents in Birmingham, he went about 30 mile out of his way. He has said he would like to take me away on holiday for 2 weeks or even one if thats all the time I can have off because I have 4 childrn and the two younger ones are 12 and 9. Obviously i want to go to spend be with him. He hasn't told his parents about me but he has his sister, and I have spoken to her on the phone. I havn't told my parents about him either as they'll just say you don't want anyone yet. He told me his parents are moving in with him to help pay his morgage, sell, they have sold their property and their coming to be with him in Cambridge so he can keep his home. I do worry though that, he could have no intentions at all of wanting to bve with me, as i do have 4 children, maybe he will ask me for the money for the holiday and i'll never see him again or maybe will go on holiday then he'll dump me. We havn't had sex yet as he wants it to be somwhere nice, not in the car and i totally agree with that. I don't have a lot of trust in men as i have met so many since my separation with my husband , that are liers, it's made me weary. I don't know what to do, the holiday makes me very excited, i would love to go with him. We have an awful lot of passion between us and we both miss each other when we're not together but could he be just saying all this to rip me off or hurt me. The holiday came about because I mentioned to him, i wanted to go away to Austalia and he said he would come with me, then he thought, why don't we go somewhere not so far away and for longer, then we can go sooner, I said ok, so i presume i have to pay for myself, although im not sure if i'll have much money as xmas is around the corner. Should he have invited the children aswell if he wants to make a go of it with me or is it ok to want to go with just me first of all? Please help!! Thankyou
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 You say his wife left him in Jan, but if Xmas was just around the corner when you wrote this, maybe you are clearer in your mind now about things? Do you have only his side of the story, about why his wife left him? Have you met any more of his family/friends? You can learn an awful lot from listening to them, and get a whole new perspective on things. How do your children feel about him? Maybe you need a bit more time, especially if you are not sure of his motives. See if he gets pushy, a lot of men who have things to hide sometimes want to move things on quickly and hook you in and, before you know it you have fallen for them and you find out too late, when they become part of your (and your children's) life - what they really are like, and what they want from you. So don't rush into anything, you have plenty of time. If you feel it is the right thing to do, have the holiday, one with him alone, then if all goes well, a week somewhere with the children...You can learn such a lot about what a person is really like when you are away together, and away from the pressures of life! Good luck!
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female
reader, Eddiezbabygurl67 +, writes (21 June 2006):
 hey gurly,you've got soo many mixed emotions,c'mon now chica, dont let this man pay for what past men have done to you, if he's honest with you and he cares about your children like he does his own and he makes you feel good physically i guess, mentally and emotionally, then i think you just might've found Mr.Right, it seems too good to be true because you've yearned for this for so long, and you finally found it! i know your thinkin there MUST be some strings attached huh?....what if there isnt. what if he is what he makes out to be, what if you searching for the perfect person, has come to an end? that you finally found him? what if he doesnt want to hurt you, what if he wants to be there for you and try to make up to you what them other men have done....think about it....holdon loosely but dont let go :)
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