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male
,
anonymous
writes: Ive been in a relationship with a Girl who was friends with me 6 months before we start going out, Its been 4 months since we've been going out. The relationship that i have with her is a serious one we both intend to marry and we both have been quite intimate during these 4 months (its not lust :p) She says she has never gone as far as she has went with me and i do beleive her because when we were friends we both did know each others dirty secrets even then. The thing is its been nearly an year since she got over her previous relationship, she says she really loved him but he left her and she says she's pretty much over him but now ive noticed when she's having periods she does admit gettin sad over him leaving her and even admits that whenever she hears of him indirectly or something like that she gets sad even though she says she hates him for what he did i am suddenly beginning to doubt if she still really loves him and if she still has feelings she can't get over. I love her and i do believe she loves me too but i dont know what to do or what to say when she tells me shez sad over him and i wanna know why?
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female
reader, Chelesea16 +, writes (21 June 2006):
Alright..i'm a girl who has recently went through the exact same thing your girlfrend went through..i might not give you the right advice but i will tell you what happened to me..i dated a guy for about 2 years on and off..but when we did go out it was for long periods..we broke up for about 9 months, and i started dating another guy..it was great for a while..but my ex started calling me up and making me wonder what it would be like to be with my first love again...i started hinting to my b/f that i still had feeling for my ex. but he didnt really pay attention. Sooon i broke up with him for my ex( which turned out to be a mistake now) but anyways..you should really talk to your girlfriend and ask her how she is feeling...your realtionship with her does not sound as bad yet as mine was..but keep up your guard, and talk to her as much as you can about it. Even ask her how her relationship was with the other guy..she might just want someone to talk to her about him.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (20 June 2006):
 You could take this as a good sign.
It's quite natural for someone to take a very long time to get over someone they cared about a great deal.
What this tells you is that your girlfriend is someone who is capable of deep connection, and commitment, and caring. And it tells you that she can take relationships seriously, and that they can mean a lot to her. This is a good thing.
This is a good thing for you two: you also clearly feel that way about relationships. I think this means that there is a very good chance the two of you are right for each other, and that one day you will end up married very happily.
However, do be on guard for those nagging doubts. If they turn into jealousy then you could end up destroying your relationship, which would be a tragedy. If you find yourself worrying more and more, or feeling ugly feelings towards her suddenly if she's not with you or talking to other men or similar, then you need to take action, and quickly. But it sounds like it hasn't got that bad yet.
So focus on her, what you two can be together, and on the fact that she's clearly a girl who takes you and your relationship seriously. She's not the type to up and leave, so if you stick with her, then the two of you will last.
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