A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do i do?I posted a question relating to this issue a few days ago but now i need to konw what i should do now.Heres the situation.Ive liked this girl for a month or two and just recently asked her for her number, which she agreed, later that night we txted each other all night, must of sent 100 txts each to each other, then she invited me over for a few drinks and we talked some more, laughed etc.. she was sleeping on her couch for the night cuz her aunt was there for the weekend so i told her she could crash on my bed, and she said sure.We get back to my place, i give her a massage and we end up sleeping, cuddling next to each other, i woke up a few times to her rubbing my arm that was wrapped around her, or with her head and arm on my chest, which made me happy because i really like her and this made it feel like things were going really good. We woke up and kissed and we went to work.I get a txt later saying, Im sorry should of been honest from the start but im in a situation and i need to be alone through all this dont hate me", it turns out shes married but shes seperated, lives alone and is in the middle of a divorce. I dont mind that at all because its not as if shes living with him plannning on staying with him, shes not with him anymore!I told her im ok with it and she just said she "needs to be alone through it, its hard to explain" i told her that i really like her and want to be there for her through it because it must be hard to go through it alone with all her family down south, and that if she does indeed need to be alone that im right around the corner.But the confusing part is that she was really really into me the first night, it almost felt like we were dating already, and she didnt have a problem sleeping next to me or cuddling, or kissing me goodbye in the morning, then less than 10hrs later shes saying she cant do it and now shes really distant, hardly txts me and weve only hung out once since that night.What might of happened for her to lose interest that fast and should i bring it up, and ask her what happened? tell her that i like her and want to be in her life? or should i let her do her thing and try to get over her? which is very very hard because ive liked her for months and i had a small taste of what it would be like with her and i loved it.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 November 2009):
 *it's NOT what happened*
(typos, sigh, no spell check would catch that one)
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 November 2009):
I think you're looking at this from the wrong angle; it's now what happened so fast that changed her from seemingly interested in you to backing off completely, it's what allowed her to let her defenses down for an evening. I think it's likely that some alcohol and being very tired lowered her resistance and basically, she simply wanted to be held and cuddled for a night. The problem is that you took it as a start of something, and for her, it was just one pleasant interlude, but not a start of a relationship at this point in her life.
The timing sounds bad right now for her. Going through a divorce isn't easy for people and she may just not want to stress about a new thing just yet.
I think you shouldn't take it personally, you're a nice guy, from the sound of your post, so I really doubt it's you. I think it's the timing for her.
I think if you manage to stay friendly with her, you might have a chance when things settle down for her, but don't put your life on hold. I know you've liked her for months, can you continue to like her from afar? And by all means, go out on other dates, don't wait for her to sort it all out. She may never get her head together in a reasonable amount of time.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you!
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A
female
reader, Sarah:) +, writes (30 November 2009):
 let her go through her divorce. That must be a hard thing, so give her some space, but be there for her if she needs you. Then, after that's all finished, try to pick it back up.
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