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What is it that he wants?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 October 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 October 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear sexually active men,

I need your help!

My husband, first slowly, then suddenly, lost interest in sex. Then he went through the period of "great quiet". He would not say a thing or comment, or explain himself. I was almost convinced that he was gay. Until one day I "caught" him watching porn. After that event, it seemed like he realized that what he was doing was undermining the relationship. So I think he stopped any activity that was not helping us to rebuild the intimacy.

Things got much better lately. It seems because I did not cheat on him, who knows what else, he feels more secure and is opening up little by little. I can see it in his eyes which gives me hope. This is what I got out of him:

1)He suggested watching porn together.

2)I tried to question him about what turns him on but the only thing that he said was that he likes women's green panties. He won't pick them for me but if we go together he'll buy them for me. (I tried pink lingerie one night and it did not work.)

3)And while watching "Desporate housewives" tonight, I suggested getting a wig for me. He loved the idea and said that that would be cool and also long fake nails, and bright red lipstick.

4)Also, when we were at "0" sex, I had a gf over and we got into a bath tub together. He loved that and seemed to revive our sex life for a short while.

5)When we've met, I had short hair. He wanted long hair. So now my hair is long, and he's been saying that he likes short hair on me. Is it a sign that he gets bored easily with the "scenery"?

I need some help from men on this site. Could you please describe to me his type to help me understand what he wants in bed? The reason why I am asking is because he is not a talker. I cannot get anything out of him. Also, I passed the point of believing that he wants me for my soul. I need some serious tips!

He loves me, he is attracted to me but that something which turns him on is not there. (By the way, BJ doesn't do the trick. He likes it, but IT is more mental for him than that.) I suspect he has a fetish. What is it that he wants? I think I totally missed the point by being me. One more question how can I talk to him so he opens up and reveals his sexual fantasy?

View related questions: period, porn, sex life

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A male reader, rhino United Kingdom +, writes (22 October 2007):

rhino agony auntmy answer would be too long for this page,i am a very active man,and i could give you a few tips for you both,if you like you can e-mail direct,and i will answer your questions,[email address blocked]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

I am not very experienced, but I feel that romance is much more important than sex in any intimate relationship. Do you feel you two still deeply love each other? If not, work on that before you try to bring back sex.

Again, I'm not very experienced so I don't know how much you can trust my opinion on this situation. Good luck.

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