A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I hate my dad. He has never been supportive of me. He was always drunk and always hit me. I remember when I was younger and how he always kicked me. He always treated my younger sister better and pampered him with all the things but never bought for me. Really, he hates me. We never talk. I swear to God, he hates me. He admits. But now he doesn't come home drunk because he's already working in abroad. He just got back for a short visit. Last night, I argued with my sister because she just got a new watch. Why would my younger sister need one when she already got one? I don't even have one! I joked with her and suggested that she should give me her old one. She protested and shouted. I was just joking. She's already 18 by the way. So we went very noisy and my dad came downstairs and wanted to punched me. When I quickly ran to my room and closed my door, he tried to push it. Nobody loves me. I really hate him. Why can't I ever feel a father's love? I never felt it before. How does it feel like? I watch how people always say they're their father's girl but I couldn't understand what they mean.I can't even tell my boyfriend about it because I am afraid I'll come across as someone weak whom he can take advantage of. I don't want to appear as someone who doesn't have a father figure in her life, someone who doesn't have a father who could defend her when she's being bullied advise her on life. I have always portrayed a happy family image to my boyfriend. I am very secretive and I don't tell my stories to others. It only feels safe to tell it online.There was one time in my life I didn't care about not getting a father's love and I felt great until he suddenly turned to his old habit hitting me. I realise he really hates me. And I really feel bitter about it. I feel very angry and there're so much in myself that I didn't share with anyone else. I feel that I am bottling up and it's so difficult. I wish I have a Godfather to at least show me what a fatherly love means...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011): I love my kids like nothing else in this world. My wife loves them the same way. I love her more than anything else on this earth. Three of them are girls, one is a boy.
My wife is the adult child of alcoholics and a mother who essentially abandoned her.
My life may not have been great in some ways as a child, but hers was terrible.
Her father didn't protect her, she was victimized, abused, neglected, and it caused a lot of damage, raped multiple times and not even realizing it was rape, incest and not realizing it was incest, child abuse and molestation and not even realizing it was what it was.
Read this book, you are going to need it. You will need it.
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Children-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608
Take care of yourself, don't blame your sister to much, she's as affected by this as you, in different ways that you can't see. Help yourself and read, and read, and read, and struggle to understand.
My wife's sister was much like yours is, and my wife was jealous of her sister for a long time, but the terrible thing is that we now know that her sister was sexually abused as well, and it seems more likely than not that their father had sex with her. Now, my wife is not jealous of her at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): Hi there, im curious to know where your mum is in this? Is your father violent towards her? I absolutely dont approve of what your father is doing to you. You could look like someone in your fathers family who he never got on with and he is taking out his anger on you. Or if he is violent to your mother, do you look like her?
My friends maternal grandmother was simply awful to her when she was a kid and she never knew why until her grandmother died that the reason she was awful to my friend was because my friend was the spitting image of her grans own mother who gave her gran a hard life when her gran was young. Its not logical but her gran just couldnt like her for the simple reason everytime she looked at my friend all her pent up resentment came out cos every time she looked at her she seen her mother.
This could be what makes your father treat you different to your siblings. Or on the otherhand he is just a bully and is jealous of you for some reason. There could be many reasons, none are acceptable.
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A
male
reader, justfriends  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 first bit of advice is get out call someone and stay as far away from this poor excuse of a man. If any man hits a girl unless its life or death circumstances he is a coward. You need to tell your boyfriend because he should trust you and take care of you. If I was closer I would help you out but Im in the U.S.
Your boyfriend should be there for you if he isn't then you don't need him. Next time he is gonna hit you call the cops. Im sure everyone agrees with me that this is an awful man. And Im sorry to anyone who has to deal with this.
Message me if you need some advice or to talk about this. its bad to keep everything bottled up :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): HiIf your father is hitting you, then you should report this without hesitation, you are nobody's punch bag. Where is your Mum and what does she say? Your Father should never ever physically hurt you or hurt you in any way, so please speak to a close family member and get some support.You say your Father has a drink problem, so he also needs help to sort this out, when people have this problem they are not really able to show love ,understand very bad words also come out of the mouth's of some drunks, so don't believe it if he say's he hates you. Are you old enough o leave home? is there any family you could stay with? Your not alone, there is help if you are suffering abuse, keep posting so the aunts/ uncles can help you.spunky monkey. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): Why is it always the dads who run off! That's what I'd like to know.
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A
female
reader, kylieekristina +, writes (3 June 2011):
 We are all dealt a different hand of cards in life. My father loved me very much. I was very blessed in that department, although I wonder just as you do what it feels like to have a father sticking up for you , or to walk you down the isle when getting married. I wonder because my father passed away when I was 14 years old. I lived with him and his new wife. I was very close to him. I can't imagine your father actually hates you sweetheart....he probally hates himself, and maybe you are some kind of reminder of what a piece of shit failure he is as a father. I would go talk to a professional before it affects your entire well being and lifestyle. My father dying and me not seeking counceling had a lot to do with me getting hooked on some pretty nasty drugs. I'm clean now but I went through hours and hours and days and nights filled with counceling, therapy, talking, and understand how i felt. Please seek some professional help.....it doesn't mean your crazy or anything like that, but if you dont heal the hole your father has left in your heart, you'll end up picking the worst kinda men for you when seeking out a boyfriend, and not even realize why. Feel free to email me direct if you need or want to talk.....I can give you some silly suggestions that helps me through when I feel "alone" as a daughter in this world.. (big hugs)
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