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What is he really trying to tell me? Finding it hard to decipher his words and his actions.

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 June 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2016)
A female India age 36-40, *aloni writes:

I'm in a very strange situation.

I'm a part of a big circle of friends, that I sometimes hang out with. But we get along well and goof around a lot.

Anyway, this guy that is apart of our circle of friends jokes around a lot and its sometimes hard to tell when he is being serious. But as time went by, he started telling me he loves me and will do anything for me.

Sometimes I get carried away and would ask him favors, which he eventuqlly got tired of doing.

Anyway, he still tried to help me out. I would sometimes  reasure him that I would never take advantage of him. He acted smitten with me for months. But I always took it as a joke.

He just kept say "I love you [my name]". Randomly. I noticed that the more I laughed it off as a joke, the more he got quiet and serious after saying it.

Then he disappeared for weeks. Then when he came back, he would stare at me a lot from a distance. While still coming  around to his old self and talk jokingly with me.

There is this one girl, a best friend to me, had overheard him telling me he loves me, and said "I knew it". But I think that was shorlty before he disappeared

Anyway, I got things going on in my own personal life apart from these friends.

So recently, I posted on my FB that I was in a relationship. Next thing I know, a month later to date, the girl posted that she is now in a relationship with him. And it got a lot of shocking response from our friends. But we all hit "liked" on the status.

Just a few days before their relationship status was posted, someone threw something that almost hit me, and he lost his temper and almost got in a fight. When he was asked why he got mad, he said I almost got hit.

Then a few days after that, he came around the rest of us without her, and everyone was talking about their new relationship.

He said "Yes. Its official".

But he kept getting close to me for meaningless chattering and goofing around. He's still staring at me a lot and just rambling off things I don't understand.

It's almost like the first time when we became friends.  He just kept saying some weird hidden meaning chatter. Like "why won't you just let me fly?"

What could he mean by that? He never explained any of the things he was saying to me.

View related questions: best friend

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (10 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI think you want him to show you this attention though, you may be trying to avoid him but deep down you want him to care you want him to flirt with you.

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A female reader, Saloni India +, writes (8 June 2016):

Saloni is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I see your point.

And again, I do not try to give him any wrong impression. We work together in a restaurant. Today we had the same shift. I went to work feeling sick. I think its the flu. Anyway, he started a rsndom conversation with me. He asked me if I was feeling ok I told him I was sick and was a bit dizzy driving to work. He got really concerned and told me “don’t ever do that. You pull over next time!” Then throughout the whole shift he kept asking if I was ok. Then at one point he asked me to do him a work related favor.

He said “I will love you forever”, if I did it. I told him it was not my decision. He said, “you don’t want my love?”. I walked away. Then he was saying how I am his favorite coworker. Which is something he always says. He saw me again in the back of the kitchen and said, “I need to see you in the kitchen”. His voice sounded sexual when he said that, yet, he seem to be joking. I just walked off. He was stand-offish for the rest of the shift.

Everytime he tried talking to me today, I tried to walk away or say a few words that didn’t give him any wrong impression.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (7 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou just need to ignore him, Surely this is not the type of person you would want to go out with? Someone who uses girls?

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A female reader, Saloni India +, writes (4 June 2016):

Saloni is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I tried avoiding him yesterday. And even though she was around,he kept on trying to get my attention.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntSweetie this guy is in a relationship now, so it should not matter if he likes you or not as he is off limits. If he is using this girl to make you jealous well that does not make him a nice person.

Do you like him as more off a friend? If not then be clear to him that you value his friendship and that you are happu for him and his girlfriend, if you do like him I suggest staying clear from him and his riddles. It is not fair on his girlfriend. Maybe he just likes to confuse people and make them wonder what he is trying to say.

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