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What if I break up with my boyfriend and regret it and I'm not happy with the other guy? Or what if I don't and I end up completely happy? How do I decide?

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So, I have been dating my boyfriend for over two and a half years. We broke up after about 6 months because we were both in different places, but got back together afterwards. Since then, things have been great and our relationship turned around so much. We share dreams about the future and even have a dog together. There are some things that bother me about him but I feel that it is just little things that every couple feels after dating for awhile.

Things have gotten much more complicated recently because I've developed feelings for a friend from school. We talk all the time and he is really a great guy. I know he likes me a lot and I do too. I would never cheat on my boyfriend and feel really horrible about the whole situation. I know it is normal to be attracted to other people but I have a decision to make.

I have no idea what I want. I'm always thinking the "what ifs." What if I do break up with my boyfriend and regret it so much and I'm not happy with the other guy? Or what if I don't and I end up completely happy or vice versa? I am 22 years old and just graduated college. Please help me, the whole situation is stressing me out so bad!

View related questions: broke up, got back together

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 July 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntSometimes we cannot help who we fall for. I understand that you are confused and you don't know what you want. It is your decision to make am afraid and nobody else can make it for you. It sounds like you are a little insecure and you are scared of being on your own. A part of you wants to make a go with this other guy to see if it is any better than the relationship you have at the moment but you are scared that if it doesn't work out you will have lost your boyfriend. But I think your biggest fear is being alone. You need to try looking at being more independent. You need some time on your own I think to question what you really want. Maybe go away by yourself for a little break for a weekend and use the time to think things through. It sounds like you have a good relationship at the moment but there is obviously some doubts in your mind you need to find out where these doubts are coming from and ask yourself who you will be happiest with. Follow your heart.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2011):

k_c100 agony auntWell normally the grass is not greener on the other side, so unless you have some pretty serious issues with your boyfriend I would say stay with him.

Maybe if you provide a bit more information on what is wrong with your current relationship that might help? All you have said is that everything is great so it is hard to even understand why you are talking to another guy! If you give some more info I can give some more advice.

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A female reader, me81 United States +, writes (14 July 2011):

me81 agony auntwell, we don't know what's going to happen in the future, we only have our present... so if you are happy at this moment with your boyfriend, why would you even consider break up with him?... or am I missing something?... If you love your boyfriend of two years work on fixing things, talk to him and tell him how you feel. But if things are going bad and you feel empty in this relationship you might consider taking a break... however, don't expect your boyfriend be still there when you're ready... you know what I mean? think about what you want right now before you make a desicion that could affect other people and yourself.

Good Luck! keep us posted!

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