A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband walked out three months ago and we are "separated". We've only been married under two years, and it has always been rocky. What is a separation supposed to mean? Is this something that helps? I don't see it that way, I see it that my husband abandoned me. Between the holidays, he read my cell phone call list and saw that I had talked to my ex boyfriends on the phone, and now this is a major source of him digging at me. He had been gone for two months, I was lonely, and frankly, wanted to have some confirmation that I am not the crazy b*** he says I am from someone who knows me much better than my husband ever will. Well, I got that, and I am feeling stronger and more attractive, and am getting used to being alone again. Is this what a separation is supposed to do? Get you ready to be back out in the world again, dating? There's no real communication between us, we don't live together, we don't date or spend time together. We went to one marriage counselling session, and he never did what was suggested (go out on a date and have fun instead of talking infinitely about our problems and how terrible I am). I don't think he wants to be married anymore. All he seems to do is go out and party, hang out with his buddies and drink. My career is benefitting from my long work hours.
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female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (15 January 2010):
 The purpose of a legal separation is to give the parties time to work things out. It's for couples who aren't sure it they want to divorce.
If there is no negotiation or communication, then maybe you should file for divorce. It's your decision, What do you want?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): I don't think you want to be married anymore. Get an attorney and file for the divorce otherwise your husband will start doing what is called a planned divorce and start purchasing things and hiding them, moving assets, and basically try to keep you from getting any bonuses to his income....If you go ahead and file, you will have the upper hand in the divorce....and you can get on with your life and start dating again--only other men.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 January 2010):
I don;t think he wants to be married anymore either. I have the feeling that he is a bit of a waste of time to be honest. A separation is basically a divorce, without the actual divorce. You'd be better off getting the divorce.
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