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What does he mean by not wanting to put a label on our relationship

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing this guy for a little while now,I'm ready to move to the next level but he likes it the ways it is, and doesn't want to put a label on what we have going on now..How should I take that?? Are we a couple?? Or are we just friends that fool arownd?? I go and stay at his house on weekends and sometimes in the week...what should I think about this what does he mean really??

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A female reader, korculan queen Australia +, writes (17 February 2008):

Glad to hear it. Not wanting to rush things means he cares about you a great deal and does not want to lose you. I am glad your talk went well with him. Hopefully there will be lots more happy times ahead and enjoy the dating phase. It is by far the best phase in a relationship because you are both out to please one another and having fun. Once couples live together some of that magic wears off and you tend to take each other for granted. Good luck and keep smiling.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanx to some on your guys advise most were better put than others,and we have told each other we enjoy each others talks and laughs and we miss each other like crazy when where not together,knowing how he feels about me know put a whole new light on things now...our talk last nite was awsome...

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A female reader, korculan queen Australia +, writes (16 February 2008):

I would take that as he is happy with you and he is enjoying the dates you have together. Do not be in a rush to go from dating to living together. I have been dating my man for 6 months and I had the same issue. However instead of having the talk I told him that he meant something to me and I was happy to proceed at a pace that was comfortable for both of us. Since then HE HAS wanted to define the relationship and is so keen to see me whenever he can and he admitted that he was scared I would dump him. So I think he is at that scary point where he would just love to keep dating because he thinks change is bad. He is probably in his mind not ready to define the relationship. That is not bad or good it just is. Tell him what I told my mate. Date without drama and say you are happy with the way things are going and you would like things to proceed at a pace comfortable for the both of you. The reaction will be he will make a shift in his mind to then define the relationship once he sees you going out and having fun with your friends and enjoying yourself and enjoying his company when you can fit him in.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (16 February 2008):

Danielepew agony auntI sincerely hope your relationship with him improves and becomes what you need and want.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Myself and my friend talked and he dont want to rush what we have and it mess up cause we moved to quick...he want to keep seeing each other and let us progress in to something deep he wants not to rush.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (16 February 2008):

Danielepew agony auntSandman said it all. He enjoys your company, but he won't commit to you. If you're fine with this, fine. If not, well... he won't give you more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008):

I had a partner like this once, rang me everyday, spent loads of time together, had sex, then I was out one night because he wasn't available and walked into a club to find him with another women, who by the look on her face was in the same mindfame as I about this guy.

When I asked what was going on - he just said, we never talked about being exclusive, sorry!

If he wanted you officially, he needs to tell you or you really need to ask. It does not have to be heavy, but you have the right and duty to yourself to ask him how he see's your relationship and what he is wanting from it.

All the best.

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (15 February 2008):

Sandman agony auntSounds like he's having his cake and eating it too (pardon the cliche). Guess you'll always be his sex buddy - maybe.

Putting a "label" on your relationship would ultimately mean that you two are in a "committed" relationship. With commitment comes other things like not being able to go out with other women and other things like that. No label = no commitment.

So maybe he does like it the way it is. But if you want to move on with the relationship, then he needs to understand your reasons. If he's not willing to step it up, and you're okay with the status quo, then so be it. But if you're not okay with the status quo and believe there might be other reasons for him not wanting to label your relationship, then find someone who is willing. Remember, you deserve what you get as long as you get what you want.

Hope this helps.

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