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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: What do you think about a man whom, you leave a phone message in the morning asking if he wants to have dinner and at 8:30pm he calls, leaves a message that does not mention the call, you try to call back and know he is there because he is on messenger, but now he does not feel like talking. So you try to text and he still won't answer, for not apparent reason? Then you get on messenger and he "hangs" up on you three times that night for no apparent reason,What do you think about a man who wants to be exclusive, but is only interested in seeing you once a week and talking to you a couple times a week and wants to keep "talking" to people on plenty-of-fish?What do you think about a man who you have dated for a few months and he has never given you flowers (or anything?)?I can ask more questions of this man, but I think that is enough. I should not date him, right?
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flowers, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 He is a player play him at his own game, make your self invisible when he tries to contact you.
Gina
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 Sorry.. this guy is selfish and it sounds like you are just one of many other women he has an interest it...
He is not worth wasting the effort of texting to!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): PUNT... kick him to the curb...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): just be very cool and always wear make up an dress nice an b nice if it kills you.
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A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 Clearly this man is keeping his options open and were it me, I'd probably either just cease contact or recategorize him. He's not relationship material and obviously he doesn't consider you as much either.
Something that does stick out for me though is the amount of times you have tried to get in touch with him. For his one text you have 6 contact attempts that I counted, and I'm only counting your text as one. That is far too many. My rule of thumb is no more than 2 attempts. And the second is only because technology is imperfect and a message might be lost. After that...nothing. The ball is in their court and if that means I never hear from them again, so be it. You have to be prepared to walk away, and after a reasonable period of time.
In keeping with that philosophy I let the other party initiate at least half of the conversations and end a few myself. It gives me a chance to gage their interest in me.
Chalk this up to a learning experience. You're now wiser and have a better idea of what you want and don't.
Chin up and move on.
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A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 he's selfish. don't go out with this guy. he wants everything on his terms
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 Oh, flick this loser! He wants to be exclusive but is on Plenty Of Fish, and he's only there to "talk"? That should tell you all you need to know, never mind about the fact that he ignores your efforts to comunicate whilst he is obviously chatting to someone he's met through a date site. You can do better. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 Right, you should not date him. You want more than he does and he's got all the power in this right now.
Stand up for yourself and deman what you want. If he can't give you that than he's not the man for you.
He's evasive for a reason and he's perhaps dating others or looking to date others. If he was serious about you he would not do any of the things you mentioned.
The way I see it is that he's laid the ground rules and expects you to play by them...what abotu what you want and need?
It's been a few months and perhaps it's not easy for you to just drop him. Talk to him if you want, express your concerns and tell him what you need, want and expect...if he's unwilling to compromise then let him go.
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