| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: What do you say to some you love dearly when they have just lost someone close? I mean recently as in yesterday morning! What am i supposed to do she just lies crying there not saying anything now i know this is normal but what can i do i don't know what to say to her and i feel so uneasy around her. Thbuteres no point in talking about general things because although shes listening she doesnt answer so i suppose she doesn't want to here about it. Shes been terrible over these last two days but finally today i got her to get out of bed to eat something. I don't think shes depressed because she was like this before when she lost her cousin and i hated every minute i saw her because i felt so uneasy and helpless because i couldn't do anything although we didn't live together then as we were both at school. What can i do to make it better? what do i say? She's generally a happy person and to see her like this is unbearable please help!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 A lot of times when someone dies, we don't want to mention the persons name for fear that she'll go to pieces but this isn't the case. Don't be afraid to talk about the person who's died, she'll want to do this and will probably reminisce and tell you stories about them. I know I did this when I lost my partner... (still do.)
When she starts to sob just put your arms around her and hold her, it does help. With every day that passes she'll feel a little bit better. She'll never ever forget the person that's passed on but time IS a great healer and that's a fact so just hang in there with her and allow any outbursts she might throw at you. She will come round again with time.
Eve
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 June 2007):
 There is nothing you can say until she has dealt with it in her own way and is ready to start talking about it, just be there for her give her space if she needs it and hugs if she needs them, you being there will be enough and like you say it was only yesterday morning so just give her time babe.
Thinking of you both take care.xx.
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