A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:whre do i go from here , im with my husband 13 years and since having twins 16 months ago life has become hard work ,im not complaining but i miss 1on 1 with my husband talking and just holding each other he thinks im just nagging .. i am only 27 and i cant live the rest of my life like this what do i do when my husband does not see the bigger picture? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 You have been together for thirteen years and now have your wonderful twins, as much as we all love our kids we need our own time don't we.
Kids get a little easier as they get older but you need to let your husband know your not nagging you love him so much and you need and miss his company....its easy to get stuck in a rut and carry on with day to day life but time together is important.
Just once a week you need couple time no kids attatched find someone to look after them for you if money is a problem can someone take them to their house for the evening watch a dvd have a bottle of wine cuddle up on the sofa and relax...
I wish you all the very best because bringing up kids juggling a home etc...is no easy job honey but its well rewarding in the end
WELL DONE YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB,
Hope it all works out for you x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2007): I am an aunt to 11 year old twins, a girl and a boy. For the first three years, my sister was run ragged by the two (her only kids) and she is a juvenile diabetic so she had the challenge of taking care of herself as well.
Even though she is a stay at home mom, she hired some help to clean house and stay all day with her and the twins until they were about 2 1/2. That gave her a much needed relief from the work and the house cleaning and she could leave the house to run errands without the kids.
She also had a hard time teaching the twins discipline which affected her life with her husband...she finally learned how to do that effectively, but she really struggled with it for a few years.
The twins get a lot more fun and easy to handle as they get older, but for now you may just need to ask for more help!
If your husband does not get it, have you left him with the babies for an entire Saturday while you go shopping or get your hair done? Trust me, he will get it then, try it if you haven't already.
Ask for what you want in a specific way rather than just comlaining or venting your feelings. Say, I want to get a sitter at least one night a week so we can go to a dinner and a movie, I want to get my hair done this Saturday, you will need to not make any plans so you can be home with the twins....I would really appreciate it if you would make those steaks on the grill, or draw me a bath, or give me a massage, or ......say, ask, tell.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 One couple I know, who re-married after a divorce, now plan a "date night" once a week and turn their son over to a close friend of the family who keeps him overnight. The friend also has a son the same age, so it works well. They go out and do something just like a regular "date", then come home and do something romantic.Not saying this would work for you, but it's sure helped them a lot.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (25 February 2007):
 Can you not have another member of your family or a close friend to watch the kids one night so that you and your husband can have some quality time together? Let your husband know that you would do anything for some undisturbed time alone with him. The good thing is, things will improve as they grow. See if you can find some willing babysitters amongst your family and friends, even if it means 2 different friends. Who knows, they might even enjoy it and offer to do it again for you some time.
Eve
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