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What do you do when she requests space? How long without contact?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 November 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend asked for space thruogh an email. I don't know where we went wrong but its completely disrsctful if you cant say whats on your mind. I e=sent her a nice email stating I wouldn not contact and good luck finding you feelings, what a crock! Well, its been 10 days and not even a text message so I sent her an email today, Hi xxxx, could you join me for a quick cup of coffee this weekend? Hope you're doing well! xxxx If she cared she would have called. I think she cheated on me and thats why she took flight. She said she felt depressed which usually happens when you realize you made a mistake. If she doesnt contact me by staurday then I will call her (most likely I will be talking into voicemail) b.s. And say im calling to say goodbye, I didn;t want to emailyou because its to inpersonal. I had a great time the last five months and I dont know where we went wrong, but it doesnt matter because I want yo to be happy. Thank for introducing me to your wonderful family, I wish all the best. take care.

This way I can get closure,,my way instead losing self respect being treated like a pawn. who knew something so greatcould be thrown out the window so fast. Shes probly torn up about her decision, shes losing a great guy.

View related questions: cheated on me, depressed, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007):

I wouldn't call. You've attempted to make contact - calling makes you look desperate. I'd call it a day and say nothing. If she contacts you, say thanks etc but no thanks. No way could I let someone put me through that king of emotional torment. I've been there and it only ends in unhappiness. So make the emotional break, move on and find someone who appreciates you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007):

If you do end up having to call it a day and say the things you wrote in your post then that is a very fair and kind way to break up. You could be right about her cheating but it could just be that she has gained feelings for someone else and needs time to think about what she wants to do, maybe even she just has priorities that are nothing to do with another man and needs to sort out in her head where you come into the equation.

Its good that you dont want to be a puppet on a string, hanging on for a decission that might never come, it shows that you have some self respect unlike so many that post this site. I think you have given her an adequate amount of time to do her thinking and that if she ignores your email then I would be enclined to say she is trying to get you to do her dirty work ( to afraid to call it off with you) So I wish you all the best - enjoy your future whatever the outcome.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (2 November 2007):

rcn agony auntI really still don't understand what the whole space thing is. It's baffling. Many times people take a break from people (the non-stress), and keep what stressed them out in the first place.

I think your plan is one worth wile. Who knows why people take breaks, but I know what you mentioned about guilt is one of them.

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