A
female
age
30-35,
*Janey'
writes:right my life story basically:my mum split up with my real dad because he was a violent man but not as violent as many men, she left him and got remarried to my real dad's cousin and for years i have hated my real dad because what he had done but also i always cried because hey he is my dad and he was my hero no matter if he didnt want me...well anyway recently i have been talking to one of my cousins and she always sees my dad so i wrote a letter expressing what i felt and questions i needed answering, he answered them and now we are in contact via msn and text but i dont know, my mum and older sister are always saying he is such a horrible man and naming the things he has done wrong but i forgave him ...my mum doesnt know that i am in contact with him so what do i do?do i still talk to him and get to know him after all he seems like a nice guy... do i leave him and take my mother's side?or something else? its driving me crazy please help!!!!
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cousin, msn, split up, text, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (19 January 2010):
You're old enough to be able to have a relationship with both your parents, ask your own questions, listen to answers and form your own assessment of the responses. Just remember that there are 3 sides to each story, his, hers and the truth. Leave the baggage at home, go in with an open mind and heart. Look out for suspect behavior, calm collected and open conversation should win over fits and threats.
These are YOUR parents, their failure to be able to maintain their relationship is on them- your failure to have a relationship with both of them is on you. Good luck, and NO GUILT!
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