A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm hoping for some advice (especially from any guys out there!) about my b/f. We've been together 5 years and now we live together. My worry is that he seems to have gone off sex. This has been going on for a year. He pretty much falls asleep as soon as we get into bed, and when I suggest going to bed earlier, he does the same thing. I tried 'spicing it up' a little, surprising him with saucy text messages, dressing up sexy, etc, but he didn't respond to the messages, and said I made him feel he was using a prostitute when I dressed up! (That really hurt). We had a chat about it, and he said he's just tired from work and stuff. He did seem more interested when we went on holiday, but lost his erection when he was kinda inside me. But he still wakes up with an erection, and I know he uses internet porn. So I guess I'm wondering what I can do to improve our sex lives? I tried to talk to him about it again, and he just clammed up. I feel like I'm the only one who's bothered, and I don't get why he doesn't feel it matters and why he never wants to get physically intimate anymore. We still hug/kiss lots, and otherwise have a good relationship. But I hate feeling so frustrated and undesirable and unwanted. I guess physical affection (and sex, to be honest) is important to me in a relationship-it kinda cements things, I think. What should I do? Any advice on how to improve things would be really really appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Well yeah it could totally be him being tired and overworked all stress really ruins the mood of things, especially with the economy today but try talking to him agian, because you said when you brought the subject up again he clammed up, so there could be something deeper than stress...Explain to him that it really hurts you that he's not as interested in you physically as he used to be and ask him for the truth, if there is something wrong, something you did?? or anything in general.. and hope you get an answer that'll help your situation.
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