A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry if this is long...Right, On monday i made an appointment with the school nurse to discuss my problem over a teacher. I just went into details of how this situation is affecting me emotionally and also having such an impact on my life, etc. It did help that i got it off my chest but i asked her to do something for me which i now really regret. Well, she actually suggested this to me and without thinking i answered immediately to her asking if i'd like her to have a word with this teacher for me...It didn't seem to matter too much at the time, i mean does it really matter that a teacher knows you have a obsessive crush on them? Well it does now, All today i've been paranoid that he's been avoiding me. Which i suppose you can expect really but...In one of my afternoon lessons, i have this other teacher (lets call him Greg) who is quite good mates with the teacher i'm obsessed with (I'll call this gorgeous man Steve). Anyway i noticed something funny going on, For one thing - Greg kept having these private phonecalls outside the room. And then later on Steve walks in and i was soooo scared incase he'd comfront me about my councellor meeting (This is the reason i regret asking the nurse to tell him) Steve actually came and stood behind me whilst i were on the computer, for at least 20 seconds. I was thinking to myself 'this is it, he's gonna ask to talk to me now' my heart was racing, my legs were shaking and was horrified as i felt his eyes on me. Turns out he didn't and walked out the door. I actually think he intended on speaking to me, cos he gave a lame excuse as to why he entered the room. He perhaps saw how nervous i were around him and decided to let it go and not embarass me about it...Next thing i know, Steve is having a private chat with Greg outside the room (I may be paranoid but i suspect they were talking about me)Then before the end of school, i were hanging around the gym area with 2 of my mates and caught Greg staring at me like loads. (He was behind me, i felt his eyes on me so i turned around then he turned away).So what do you lot think about that? I mean, it seems obvious BOTH of them know about the situation i'm in... although i still need to check with the nurse if she did say anything, but from today's experiences i'm VERY sure it has been said. All those pirvate chats and phonecalls are worrying me, Steve was probably concerned about me (bless him) and confided in a friend. Anyway the purpose of my post is to ask what i'm gonna do if i do eventually get comfronted about my crush on him, when he stood behind me today, thinking he was gonna ask to talk to me - i just went completely pale in the face and felt as though i was gonna pass out. I really need to prepare myself, if or when it does occur. It may not seem a big deal, but he is a teacher and actually telling him how i feel and talking through the situation (of how depressed i am feeling) is a really BIG DEAL for me... i'm so scared! Any replies will be welcome xx
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Hey,
dont worry about it, as I said before all will be forgotten in time, probably just a few months at the most.
Just act like you normally do, you will find he starts to become easy around you again.
Teachers only avoid the ones who try and find ways of being alone with them as it is very dangerous to be put in this situation. So just be yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, especially Collaroy! I think i have really made a mistake in letting him find out about the situation. It's awful, he's goin to avoid me now and i can't even bare the thought of that! I was hoping to tell him myself before i leave school, but i suppose that's out of the question now... I've ruined everything for myself!
I absolutely think the world of him, and to know that he's uneasy/scared around me - it just causes so much more pain!
Honestly, the dumb things i do...
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (28 November 2007):
Hi there,
let me tell you first as an experienced high school teacher myself.
He will not confront you about this. Never in a million years. You are a student he is a teacher, end of story.
What he is doing though is letting everyone know that you have a crush on him. I'm sorry to say but in today's education environment when a girl lets it be known she fancies you , as a teacher you have to let her class teacher know, her head of year and sometimes the Principal.
The reason being is, if you are in a class by yourself and this particular student enters the room on her own, at any stage in the future the student can make an accusation against the teacher of sexual harrasment. The teacher will often be suspended and an investigation is mounted. The teacher's reputation is ruined and they lose all respect of their fellow teachers. So you can understand why the teacher is a bit edgy, it is very unnerving when a young girl takes a fancy to you as you constantly worry that she is going to put herself in a situation where you are alone together.
My advice to you is, dont worry about what he thinks , he will not confront you about this ( if for some reason he does tell your parents immediately ) but you will have to get used to the fact that he will be uneasy around you until things quieten down again. And they will, so dont worry about it. You will laugh about this in a couple of years.
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A
female
reader, Demons Angel  +, writes (27 November 2007):
I highly doubt you'll be confronted on your crush. Stop being paranoid it'll all work out my friend has a crush on her teacher and it's given me some fun memories she plans on confessing at the end of the school year. Don't worry about it so much everything will work out in time.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 November 2007):
 My husband taught high school chemistry for 30 years and believe me when I say this, I highly doubt that he will discuss this with you. I know this is a big deal to you right now but it really isn't to a teacher. Students get crushes so often that teachers get pretty much immune to them after a while. Just try to relax, all this will fade in time.
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A
male
reader, jimmycrackcorn +, writes (27 November 2007):
ohhhh...this is so not cool that your teachers would approach you about this. how embarrassing...girl im sorry for your predicament. just act like nothing happened.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): I highly doubt you'll be confronted about this, unless it begins to seriously affect your behavior and work in school. It's common to have crushes on teachers, and I'm sure you're not the only one who has had a crush on "Steve." Asking the nurse to talk to him was probably a bad idea, but I don't think much will happen after this. If he does confront you, tell him it was just a phase and you've gotten over it and apologize for the confusion. Telling him otherwise would further complicate things, and keep in mind that you two could never possibly have a future together. Good luck!
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