A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i added this girl on facebook about a month ago... started talking and flirting... she is kinda a friend of friend of a friend we are muttualy connected by friends :P and im not the most confident guy in the world especially with ladies (shy and insecurities, that's another question for another day) how can i keep her interested in me and want to talk to me? we used to talk a lot and flirt, but the convos have since kinda dried up... what can i send her to get a convo going or summat to at least get her interested in me? if that makes sense.she had a upset moment with life and that, and came to me for advice and i gave some to her and since then really she hasn't been talking as much and flirting. at one point she was asking a friend what time a was home from work... she also invited me out, asked if we could meet up sometime, to which i said yes of course you name the time and place but she has yet to follow through with her request. but i dont wanna seem needy and desperate. what can i say that's funny/witty to get the ball rolling again? get her interested in me cos i wanna stand out from other lads so we could in fact meet up sometime... i know she is chatting up other lads and probably fancys other people (i dont fancy her, i really like her tho and i would date her just haven't gotten to that stage yet in our friendship) shes told me im goodlooking and fit and all of that and in comparison to the lads she is flirting with, yes im like a male supermodel.i wanna get back to how it was where it was just flirting and having a laugh and her asking when i was back from work, i want her to look forward to speaking to me and gain some interest.. what can i say to get talking properly again and keep her interested in me? and then ask her if she wants to follow up with meeting me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): I get the impression that your insecurities and shyness is holding you back. It is clear reading your post that you do in fact really like this girl and want to date her, but you are afraid of getting hurt so you come off somewhat aloof about the girl and the situation, but clearly you want more with this girl otherwise you would not have bothered writing the post...
This girl suggested the two of you meeting up, your response to "just name the time and the place" suggests to her that you are not that bothered if you do or you don't, because you don't want to seem needy or desperate and maybe she doesn't want to seem needy and desperate either. Her suggesting it is her way of hinting that she wants you to ask her out, and you havn't. Taking all that into consideration from a female perspective, she might think you are not interested and thats why she is not flirty.
You need to ask her out, giving her a time and place. You can't go through life without ever taking that chance, unless you want to be alone. Try to get over your insecurities and accept the fact that you do care about things with this girl, you have nothing to lose.
If it doesn't work there are plenty more fish in the sea and honestly life is too short to worry about coming off needy or desperate, go after what you want. If she sees you as need or desperate, then she aint the girl for you and it wouldn't have worked out anyway and just move on.
Good luck.x
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (28 December 2011):
 The most important thing is be yourself.
Girls love a guy with a sense of humour and comfortable in himself.
Try not to let your low self esteem get in the way of your growing new friendship :) Keep that stuff to the back of your mind when initiating contact.
You can send her cute pics and paste them onto her profile e.g like; "have a great day"
& if you find nothing to say... paste a funny caption
or a simple comment like "how are you?" always guarantees a response. This way you can get to know her better and she gets to know you as FRIENDS. See where it leads!
Just be genuine and be yourself!
Goodluck!
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