A
female
age
36-40,
*omof3boys
writes:Ok I am lost and in a daze right now. I found out my husband has been cheating on me for the past year. The one girl had a baby recently and said its my husbands but its possible its someone elses. I also found out he was seeing her and talking on the phone to another girl. He says he is done and only wants me. What am I suppose to do? I left hiim but I want to believe him and that he only wants to be with me and make our marriage work. By the way that girl lived with us he got pregnant and both of them lied to me. She went back to ky and is still calling him saying she loves him. The thing is We have three children all boys and she had a girl. I have been with my husband since I was 15 and he was 16. I gave him my life. I do anything for him. I love him so much and I want our marriage to work. My question is what can I do to believe and trust him again and how do I know if he is telling me the truth or just trying to keep me around so he can see the children? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Mom,
This is the part of your OP that stuck out most to me:
"I left hiim but I want to believe him and that he only wants to be with me and make our marriage work."
He said he only wants to be with you and to make your marriage work? Yet he thought all of that would be possible by cheating on you with multiple women and impregnating them, then lying about it? The fact is, this guy simply cannot be trusted again. He got caught and is embarrassed that he failed at keeping his affairs secret.
You've devoted your life to him, birthed his children, and this is what you get in return. You deserve infinitely better than your husband. Way to go for leaving him, I say!
I know it's difficult because you've spent so many years with him, experienced so many things with him. Raising three boys as a single mom is no simple feat, but you were strong enough to leave your husband when he wasn't strong enough to be honest and faithful to you, which means you've got it in you to take care of business. You're a strong woman who recognized a bad situation and got out. You can continue to be a strong woman when you take your husband to court for a divorce and child support. Staying together for the kids is more unhealthy than getting a divorce.
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