A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 and had been with my bf thats 21 for over a year. We are at college together. About three weeks ago I met this other guy. He is like the exact opposite of my bf and I was really attracted to him. My bf is basically quiet and dependable and didn't really like me doing much without him. I ended up breaking up with him because I was scared what would happen with the other guy. It was very traumatic for him and he still hasn't recovered. I am with the other guy now but we are keeping it a secret so my ex doesn't get hurt even more. The only thing is, while he is like super funny, stylish and great to be around, but he's also drama. He has depression issues and after we fought about something he took a bunch of pills. He ended up being fine but it scared me. I know the smart thing would be to cut out early but I am drawn to him like a moth to a flame. What are my chances of making it or should I try to work thing out with my ex. He is extremely hurt by the suddenness of of breakup but I know he still cares.
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female
reader, Nandos17  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 If you really like this new guy, then just being there for him in his depression is good for both of you. It boosts your trust, relationship, and its almost an achievement because it highlights your character.
I should point out that depression turns people into people they aren't. You should probably talk to him about his depression and - I'm assuming he gets help already - but if he doesn't, implore him to get help. If he doesn't get help, then you could be there for him though it would be more difficult for your relationship if you don't want someone who needs a lot of support.
In reference to your ex, I don't think its fair on him that you should mess him about in the way that you would be if you were to take him back. Though its good that you left him before anything happened - if someone were to happen - its not good that you instantly try and go back to him just because you feel like you've made a mistake and don't really want the new guy anymore. Its not fair on him, and its best for him if you just left him be.
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