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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I really need some help or advise. I'm starting to feel depressed and I have no self confidence, I feel like I'm becoming a disappointment to him. He can be very moody when he takes it out on me. He says hurtful things to me then says he sorry or he says he's gonna finish with me, which leaves me feeling very insecure. He never cuddles or kisses me and we don't really have sex anymore. I love him to bits so i take anything he says or does, but I wanna know what I'm doing wrong so I can feel he loves me as much as I love him
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): I don't think there is any way of knowing what is wrong unless you ask him. It sounds like you are torturing yourself, worrying and wondering what you are doing wrong...and I am sorry about that. But please try to stop being so hard on yourself. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. There is either something bothering him, or he is just being like this because he isn't a very nice person.
I don't know either of you, so it is difficult to say really. But my personal opinion is that this guy isn't treating you well. No wonder you feel depressed and insecure, if he says hurtful things, shows no affection, and says he will leave you. He is knocking your self-esteem down with his behaviour, and that isn't right.
So maybe you could try and speak to him about this, and ask if there is anything on his mind. But if things don't improve, I think it might be worth thinking of walking away from him. I know you love him, and so will take whatever he says or does, but at what cost? Are you prepared to lose your self-esteem? To become unhappy? Is that really love? I worry that things will gradually become worse if he refuses to work on the relationship.
So please do be careful, and look after yourself. Love isn't about sacrificing ourselves to keep the other person happy. Love is a mutual, shared thing, which YOU very much deserve to receive. Good luck. x
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