A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,Im very confused right now.I met someone about four years ago. He works abroad, we kept in touch online/emails/chat etc. Got to know him well enough (as much as the net allows).He suggested to meet up, when he's on leave. Mentioned it a few times. Now he's over here, he emailed me with his mobile number. I replied back, he said he is free whenever so I mentioned a few days. Was supposed to meet yesterday, but he text me being very apologetic said that he completely forgot that he had something else already arranged. Suggested we meet the following day for lunch and that it would be his treat. I said ok.Then today, he text me to confirm a time and date. I agreed. Then 30 mins later he said he's really sorry and that he doesn't want to get attached to someone because of the job he does. And hopes I don't hate him.I replied trying to explain it's cool, we could meet as friends, which was my original intention. He said he gets where I'm coming from but he's going to give it a miss. I replied back saying, that meeting up for a bit won't do any harm etc. And if he still doesn't want to meet then does he want me to delete his number... wished him all the best etc. He's not replied.I accept that I don't know him well, but I'm still lost as to what's come over him... all of a sudden.Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): i did this to a girl once who i had a long distance with online, when it came time to meet, i just got cold feet, lol this fear of what she would think of me, plus , if she will break my heart - took over. and i was not able to bring myself to meet her, eventualy as my feelings went away and we faded, i contacted her and we met. I told her this was the reason, she was fully understandible and understood that some guys are more worried to meet then others and we all have our own experiences and expectence when it comes to these type of situations, i hope this helped give you a perspective from a guys perspective :) goodluck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Nicole30,Arh bless thank you for taking time out to reply, greatly appreciated.Erm I get what you're saying but I know for sure he's definitely not married. I'm good friends (who's an ex) with his friend. He was in the army but now does security. So gets 4 weeks off every 3 months.It's totally disrespectful, I'm sure women do it too, but there seems to be more guys who portray this type of behaviour. I wouldn't bother thinking about it if he had made all that effort. It's a mystery. Im not going to contact him, he hasn't deleted me off fb, which would make more sense if you can't be bothered with someone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for your reply.I agree with what you say about it being iffy him not even meeting for a quick coffee. We've been chatting regularly since February this year, so just out of curiosity I would've met up if I was him. But I'm not and he hasn't done that.Yeah I will leave him to it.
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A
female
reader, Nicole30 +, writes (14 April 2011):
Hi there, What's his job? What does he do for a living and where is he based? Without sounding like I know the answer, it may be a guy who perhaps wants his cake and eat it! The internet these days, allows a lot of people to do things they themselves know, they shouldn't be doing. The reason I say this is because, having read 'Honeypies' reply, I think she may have a point. If this guy was a single guy and had been in touch for so long with you and then suggested to meet, he would have met you. If this is the case, then for you, I'm really annoyed. Why do guys think it's ok to do this to girls? The only logical explanation is that he is attached or married. Here's hoping it is a case of 'his work commitments' and that you do get the answer you deserve. I hope this works out how you want it to. N X.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): I would leave him to it, I wouldn't be surprised if he arranged to meet quite a few women while he was home, its not uncommonOr maybe he did just get cold feet, whatever the reason it's totally disrespectful and if he should ever get in touch tell him, sorry your busy. Then dont chat online anymore.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 April 2011):
 Well that clears up some of it.
I would perhaps chance that, he is afraid he won't meet up to what he thinks your "standards" are or he's affraid that the whole thing will go poof once you meet again. That the two of you won't have that chemistry you are both ( maybe) hoping for?
I would just back off and see what he does. The ball in in his court now.
I still think it's kinda iffy that he won't even met as friends. Like for a quick coffee/lunch.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your comments.
He's definatley not married we have a mutual friend. We've kept in touch for last 1 year or so. But been regularly chatting for the last 3 months.
We're facebook friends, so I know he is who he says he is. I've met him in person 4 years ago. But didn't start chatting properly since last 3 months.
I'm disappointed and unsure as to why a guy would do this. He came across very genuine.
:-)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 April 2011):
Screams MARRIED to me, or at least already attached. Having second thoughts for sure.
It's hard to say though. Could be that he's not who e claims to be? Did you two do video chat? Or exchange pictures? Could be if you didn't talk via video that he used someone else photo and/or name.
I would totally block him from everything and never talk to him again. The guy has basically strung you along for 4 years.... Can't even meet as friends? Very Very Iffy.
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