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anonymous
writes:I've been answering questions here for a long time and have never asked a question. Well, I'm I guess I'm popping THAT proverbial cherry, because I'm really in a situation.I moved out to the West Coast with a friend about 2 and a half years ago. She was intending on living here, going to college here, etc. I moved out here to get her nice and settled in and help her adjust... it was simply an adventure for me, a like, 6 month "mini-vacation", and I had every intent on going back to the East Coast after a while. However, things didn't exactly work out that way.She was younger than me which meant that MY name went on to our rental lease. I also got found me an amazing boyfriend within two weeks of being here (figures, I spend 19 years searching around on the West Coast with no success, I go over to the West Coast and BAM - soulmate). Well, I guess she got homesick after a few months and frolicked back home, leaving me with the apartment.Well, while I was staying out here, riding out the end of my lease, the boyfriend and I really developed our relationship. Now, two and a half years into our relationship, I'm STILL living out here and very, very happy with him. He is exactly what I want for a partner. We live together now, get along marvelously and love each other. Our families love each other. We often talk about our future, and we plan on getting married in the upcoming years. Oh yes, by the way - I am 21, he is 25. This whole situation would be hunky dory. However, we have one really ENORMOUS problem that is killing us. I'm dying to go back home to the East Coast. I miss my friends and my family (who I am very close with), I miss my life. The West Coast is okay, but I'm just not happy here - I've been staying out here for my man. He, however, has no interest in moving to the East Coast. I guess I understand, I don't want to drag him away from HIS home. He is also worried about not finding a job.However, most of his friends have moved away from here, and his parents are moving out of the state pretty soon as well. We pretty much just hang out with each other (I haven't really made too many friends out here... just my co-workers and college classmates). He does have a secure job here. So, how do we compromise? I want to move to the East Coast and he would rather stay on the West Coast. This is really killing us. Neither of us have any interest in breaking up, but can't figure out how we can both be happy in this situation. We are both willing to suck it up and deal for the other one, but just can't figure out what to do.Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): I've learned that friends come and go. I was raised in California and moved to Chicago and met someone.
I had gone to California and after meeting up with old friends, I realized that my new friends were better suited for me.
I to became home sick for family, and ended the relationship (she wouldn't go to California). After a year back home, I realized I made a big mistake, but it was to late to change it.
Try going back east for a vacation for two to four weeks then return. Things change, especially when you start adding years away, it did for me.
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reader, salvation  +, writes (16 April 2008):
i had a friend with this sort of problem he got a map marked both of the home towns on and got a compas drawing a circle from each where they overlaped they both started a new life and there happy.too extream? I would talk to your family to see what they think. oh and pm me if you need to talk
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