A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dating, met online dating and he still has an active profile....hi, needs some unbiased opinions not from gf's but others. I'm no stranger to online dating just recently went back on again, after a short break. I've met great people, and horrible people. About a month ago, I met a guy that is quite amazing. In fact, I was shocked because I reluctantly went back online after giving up. I've been on/off dating sites for 7 years after my last long term relationship that lasted 2 years. I met a guy 42, I'm 37. He's been divorced for a year and has a 3 yo daughter who he has joint custody of. She's his world as it should be, very protective (i understand) I dont have kids but would like some in the future or adopt. If the tables were turned I'd be the same way... I have dated people in the past w kids however, they were older (teenagers) and it's been about 10 years. He said he's met a lot of women online but not that special "someone" we are both looking for long term relationships and have a great time together, in fact, I feel like a teenager again....I'm not dating anyone else from online, I'm not interested. Hes still active online everyday. We've been on 5 dates, and we haven't slept togetehr yet...I want to soooooooooooooooooooo bad, but I don't who/when he's dating but he has his daughter a lot with joint custody so I wonder when he dates?? we talk or text everyday and I'm not sure where it going? I want to go the next level but??? I'm trying to take things slow.....there's definately a sexual chemistry but if I sleep with him, I'll feel like a slut, don't want him to think that and I dont know who's he s dating...I've made that mistake of jumping the gun too soon(sex) in past dating and its ruined things, like a great relationship or someone gets hurts (usually me) or they disapear....and I get hurt, I like him too much this to happen....any suggestions????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (20 May 2010):
 I agree with both ladies below! SLOW down. Focus on being 'friends' first. NO sex for a few months - get to know the real him before sharing all of yourself. You are a prize to be earned, not just won within a few weeks/dates. This will help you weed him out - if he really is into you he'll stick around and if not, then he wont. But, at least you won't end up hurt.
Buy a good vibrator and cool off your frustrations that way :P
As for him still on the website - too early to tell. He might not see you as anything long term so he is on there still searching, he might like window shopping and seeing what is still out there, he might like dating several girls at the same time or he's just browsing for the heck of it. Who knows, but I'd be careful and protect myself by acting with class.
It wouldn't hurt if you browse around for some other options too my dear! You're 37 and dating numbers count. The more men you meet/date the higher chance of finding 'the one' sooner. Don't waste your time so early on dating only one guy - who still is searching online for dates. Get out there and mingle more!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you ladies for help, this means alot...its an exciting yet anxiety ridden time! I'll keep you updated!!! thank you again!
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Hi there! From recent experience, I want to give you my honest advise - DO not sleep with him if you want to keep him around longer. You must have him fall in love with you first, then sleep with him.You know how you make him fall in love with you?Not by being nice, sweet, caring, independent, good heart-ed, understanding...etc etc, but by dating him for a long time and NOT giving him sex. Time is an important factor when it comes to men and love. Sex does not cause men to love a girl. I slept with this amazing guy after 2.5 months and then he lost interest and left me. Just a week before, he told his parents about me (a sign of seriousness). Perhaps if I kept him waiting for longer, we could've been still together and I could have met his family by now!And I think that men do not change that much in their thinking about sex with age. They need the challenge at any age!So be a challenge and he may get more serious with you. good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (19 May 2010):
 For goodness sake, lady! After FIVE dates you are wondering if he is seeing/dating others; you want to take it to the "next level"; you want sooooobad to sleep with him.....reminds me of someone chasing after a fire truck! Sorry for the analogy, but seriously: why are you in such an all-fired hurry?
You should know from previous dating experience that it takes time (months, at least, not days or weeks) to really get to know another person and see if you are compatible. You say you have made the mistake of having sex too soon, and it's ruined things. I beg you, LEARN from that!
Look, please try to calm your anxiety and slow waay down. If this man really does like you, he will be wanting more dates, and maybe even wanting to step up the pace himself. If he does, then you DON'T! Focus on being friends at this point rather than bf/gf. The danger is that he could be put off if he senses how bad you want to advance things.
I wish you all the best.
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