A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been with my girlfriend for five years.We are engauged and due to get married next july.She dose not like going places as she is an extreme home bird.When we go for dinnar I find that there is poor conversation. Or if we go away on holiday I cant wait to get home. We live together and we get on fine but when she wants to go on foreign holidays I put them off as I find it hard to concentrate on her as my eyes want to wander at all the beautiful girls around.Does this mean we should break up?.I'll be honest I sometimes get doubts about us as I am probaly not as attracted to her as I once was.I wonder is this normall?Epecially when we are together for so long.May be Im the type of man that needs new partners all time.I would hate to break her heart.Im so confused
View related questions:
on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2012): I'm going to be completely honest with you, please don't be offended. Yes, I think you should break up, and I'll tell you why.
I'm a married woman, 23 years old, and am beginning to think I should have stayed single. Why? Because I've only been married for 2 and a half years, and I find myself fantasizing about somebody new everyday. Sure, I love my husband, but I'm starting to become unhappy with him simply because I feel I'm shorting him out of the woman he deserves...the one who only has eyes for him. To top things off, he is a hard worker, he has no problem taking turns with me with the cooking and cleaning, he's fun to be around, we have so much in common, and he's the most unique and handsome guy I've ever seen. He also says I'm the only woman he thinks about, which makes me feel even worse. I don't know if what he says is true, but judging by his upbringing in a very close, loving family, I would have to say it's possible he's telling the truth. I guess my mindset proves once and for all that some people just aren't born monogamous. No matter how wonderful their spouse is, they still want more. I haven't slept around, or anything. In fact, I stayed a virgin until I married him, but I wouldn't consider myself monogamous because of my wandering eyes and mind. I would never cheat on him, but that doesn't change the fact I feel guilty everyday.
My point of telling you this is so you don't do this to yourself. Don't make the mistake of getting married when clearly it's not for you. People who aren't monogamous in their body AND their mind should not get married. I'm learning this the hard way. It makes you miserable, especially if your spouse is completely focused on you. Then you feel guilty and selfish on top of feeling like you're missing something.
Break up with her now. Better to break her heart now than later. If you're already curious about other women, it's only going to get worse. Trust me.
A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (15 August 2012):
 Well you'v been with her for 5 years?so may be everything is getting monotonous and boring,same partner,you'l live together..so may be you want some thing exciting..but you know what?once you leave your partner and start dating it may seem exciting at the start but then you will realise the importance of your partner..if you have been with her for 5 years don't you think there must be something that kept the two of you together..I agree with the annonymous post find something to reignite the spark,do some couple things together,I'm sure you both will find a common interest..dating other women will be temporary at the end you want to go back to that one person you love and see a potential wife in,don't make hasty decisions..hang out more often,try working it out,if you still find it boring and you think you can't spend the rest of your life with her then make a move..all the best!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2012): "Does this mean we should break up?"
No, not necessarily. In my own personal experience, feelings can change at any time, but sometimes relationships just need a boost / something new to reintroduce that spark that was perhaps once there or to reinvigorate them.
Perhaps you two could find something fun or entertaining to do together. Maybe, depending on what you'd enjoy, something that involves working together or bonding, perhaps a pottery class or something similar. Think along the lines of those sort of team building weekends some companies organise. Perhaps you could arrange to go on a day trip somewhere or a romantic weekend away somewhere not overly far away.
"I'll be honest I sometimes get doubts about us as I am probaly not as attracted to her as I once was.I wonder is this normall?"
I feel like I know pretty much exactly how you're feeling. I'm on the verge of likely breaking up with my girlfriend of a few years because my feelings having changed for her recently, so yes I would say that it is normal for feelings to perhaps suddenly change - and I'd like to think that I should know!
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
