A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are some new things to try in bed? We've done a lot of positions and are pretty adventurous. We try brainstorming new ideas but get stuck in ruts. Any suggestions? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (11 December 2008):
Actually, the way you posed the question makes me think you are too young to add sex to your relationship. It sounds like sex is a pretty mechanical thing for you two, without the mental and emotional dimensions.
But I think you asked the question in good faith, so I will give you a direct answer.
As I said, sex is a somewhat complicated activity that involves your mind and your emotions as well as your body. Like tennis, long division, or public speaking it takes practice and experience to do it well. Some folks seem to have a natural talent and need only a few words of coaching, while others must fight for feedback and work hard to improve their performance. And - more importantly - people are often very different in what they enjoy. It's a big mistake to think that what is pleasurable to some people will automatically be a major turn-on for you or your B/F.
Get copies of "Joy of Sex" and "More Joy of Sex". I think these are still in print after almost 40 years, or you can find copies on E-Bay quite inexpensively. These books are organized something like an encyclopedia, with plenty of illustrations and short articles (usually only a paragraph to a page long) about positions, techniques, problems, etc, etc, related to sex. The two of you can go through them together, commenting on what is written or illustrated and finding things you want to try. Or, take a book separately and pass it back and forth, perhaps under the pillow, with little notes like "Let's try pg 275" or "I'm in the minority on pg 83!". It'll take most of a year to really go through them - and by then your tastes and life-situation may have changed enough to make starting from the beginning a good idea.
A
female
reader, jackie77  +, writes (10 December 2008):
whats gapping???
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): It amazes me how many young people seem to get the idea that lovemaking is some sort of assault course which gets boring without any different hurdles to get over.
Lovemaking is just that - showing someone in a physical way that you love them - and their body. You don't have to get into all sorts of contortions to prove it. When you get a bit older you'll probably come to realise that simply lying naked next to someone in a warm bed and cuddling up together is one of the most sensual things you can do. It's a lot less messy too.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (10 December 2008):
 Wow! You are 16-17 and you've tried almost everything?
I suggest checking out kamasutra if you are done with all positions popular in the western world.
Also changing locations might spice things up - car, nature, cinema.
Then there is the spanking, fisting, gapping, chaining, anal sex, swinging, threesomes....
But I still don't get how did you get fed up with all the "normal" positions so quickly??
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