A
female
age
41-50,
*heeto
writes:I have been dating a guy for about two months. We've known each other since last summer and just talked on and off. We have made out and acted as a couple out in public. But still have not had sex or talked about being exclusive. We text pretty much every day. But the last couple weeks we have both been busy and unable to see each other. My question is about whether or not it is okay to date other people or sleep with other people. I had a one night stand last week while I was out of town. (And of course use protection.) I've never done anything like this! I don't want to be with other people intimately again. I feel guilty. But at the same time I have no idea for sure if he is off doing the same thing and dating other people. We definitely have a connection and I see the possibility of a relationship blossoming. Since we did not have the "exclusivity" discussion should I tell him about it? Or, is it fair game?Also, is it fair to set up dates with other guys? I don't plan on sleeping around with all of these guys.
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female
reader, Cheeto +, writes (13 April 2010):
Cheeto is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice! We haven't talked yet but I'm not feeling so bad about it.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (13 April 2010):
 If you two are not exclusive, and if you've not declared yourselves to be officially dating, then no you're not cheating. But you may be hurting him if he's under the impression that this is going somewhere with you. Honestly, you may be due for a Defining the Relationship talk with him to discuss exactly where you are, where you're going, whether you're free to date others. If he feels open to seeing others, no harm no foul. If he's thinking that you're more serious than you think, it's best to find out sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 April 2010):
I meant not exclusive*
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 April 2010):
If you're exclusive, then no, it's not cheating. So what if you had a one-night-stand one time and you used protection? You're an adult woman and you have your needs. Don't feel bad about it. And honestly, if any sort of relationship were to blossom, I think it would have by now. So of course, date other people. You should anyway, there's no sense in dating just one guy that you've known for almost a year that hasn't made any sort of committment to you.
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