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female
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anonymous
writes: OK, to cut a looong story short: 20 years old, met a guy two and a half years ago, relationship, diff religions. My parents found out and flipped! Suffice to say I've practically lost them, both gone to unis in same city now, see each other all the time! Practically living together, he can make time for his boys ( eg we'll be together but he'll be on his computer as opposed to interacting ) and not me.Somehow he has gotten into a habit of telling me 'off'. I'm am totally against drinking. This was firmly established when we met and during summer 2005 he started drinking. He broke up with me and broke my heart, completely ignored me ( he was abroad so I had no idea why this was all going on ) got to uni, he continued to drink. We got back together, but not until he had flipped out at a guy who had shown interest at me ( but whenever I show hostility to a girl who was moving in on him when we weren't 'together' he gets mad that I'm 'disrespecting a good friend' ) He has apparently gone completely off the physical side of things hurting my self esteem, hasn't really touched me at all in the past 6 months. I find this hard and when I try and speak to him about it he snaps and tells me 'I don't feel like it, don't pressure me' .Whilst we were togther he got drunk and landed himself in AandE and gets angry that I don't laugh about it ( drinking is against my religion and hence I've been brought up to despise it ). He brings the story up at every opportunity and finds it hilarious. Now he's going on holiday again with the same boys who he went with last year, and got him drinking etc etc ). I'm not happy anymore and what I don't understand is that I look for anything to start an argument. What's going on? Is there anything to save? tTank you for taking the time to reply to this in advance x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for responding so quickly, i really appreciate it, i guess i did omit the good stuff, he is good to me, but its selective. but he was amazing for the first year, but that is long long gone. Its just hard to leave something thats been pretty much your whole life for so long, i guess it'll take time, Thank you again for replying, God Bless x
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (11 April 2006):
 This is obviously not the right person for you.
I have nothing against anyone having relationships with people from different cultures or religions, but there has to be a certain amount of compromise and the relationship has to be on equal terms. I get the impression that this is an unequal relationship where your partner has little or no respect for your beliefs. This will only end with you resenting this about him.
I think you should end this relationship now, and find someone more compatible who has the same values in life and wants the same things as you do.
I certainly wouldn't lose your family because of someone with such little respect for you. I don't think he's worth it and you could regret it for a long time to come!
Good luck.x
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female
reader, Clarey +, writes (11 April 2006):
 Hello there. Been thinking about this and this is all I can come up with, so hope it helps. To sum up, unless you can add more: You have all but lost your famiy through this, he broke up with you before and hurt you, he tells you off, you have lost your intimacy and he thinks that being rebellious is cool especially when he steps over boundaries - things like getting drunk and ending up in hospital. He is very obviously still growing up and I would not expect a serious relationship from him. If you can't have a nice time most of the time and this negative state is sustained, which it sure is if you have not touched for 6 months, it is likely to have run its course. You have not said if he is loving in other ways and I see that you are fond of him, but do you really want this deal for yourself? It is like buying a car that you love and finding that the brakes don't work, it won't start properly, you can't rely on it, it overfloods with petrol, ends up being roadside rescued, has steering on the wrong side...nobody will get in with you and you aren't very happy about driving it yourself. It isn't easy when you care about someone but you know they are not right for you at the moment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2006): I think you realize it yourself... I think you'd be happier if you choose to move on. I don't think your needs are fulfilled in this relationship. Move on. Good luck.
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