A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so im 100% bisexual and in the past i have had as many girlfriends as i have had boyfriends. anyway im 19 and i have a boyfriend and we are very much in love. will be our 2 year anniversary in november and we already live together and do everything together ( i will admit that everything did happen quite quickley). anyway, about 6 months ago a girl got a job where i was working and we became good friends. she has kids and a boyfriend. anyway, one evening i was in town with some friends (drunk) and she called me telling me that she needed to meet me as soon as possible, so i left my friends to go and meet her as she sounded almost scared. i met her in a local park and she was ok. so we went for a walk and as we were laughing and joking she suddenly kissed me. (and im not talking a quick peck here). i was very much shocked and she then revealed that she was also bisexual and very much attracted to me.(she is a lot older then me too) we decided that nothing could ever happen between us while either of us are in a relationship and are remaining very close friends. however more recently i have noticed some things that are (i dont know how to word this so please bear with me) bothering me that she is doing... for example when we were driving with some friends home one night, we were both sat in the back seat and she started playing with my hands... this was fine by me at first but then she started putting her hands down my thigh and how the two in the front didnt notice i will never know... the problem is i dont ever want to lose her as a friend because i love her very much but temptation is there... she knows as much as i do how we feel but its getting harder to ignore. (i will say that it is a lust for eachother not true love, at least on my part) how can i convince her to stop making advances without losing her when i know i want her as much as she wants me :S im sooo confused. does anyone have any advice or experience in this kind of situation regardless of sexuality.....
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Talk to your boyfriend? Have a trinogamous relationship?
This isn't more difficult than if it was a boy making the moves on you. If you are open for more people in the relationship then welcome her in (boyfriend needs to agree of course), otherwise you have to make your choice, her or the boy.
Simple, yet maybe a difficult decision to be made. You're allowing her advances because you haven't made up your made, and she continues her advances because she senses you haven't made up your mind. So, make up your mind. Don't meet her in the meantime if that will make it easier to make a decision.
Talk to your boyfriend about this if you and him are open enough with each other to do so.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): reaffirm your previous decision - nothin can happen as long as you are both in a relationship. She should respect that
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