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female
,
anonymous
writes: I had been with my man for 3 and a half years. A year ago he asked me to marry him, it was the happiest day of my life. He was always telling me how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. The last year we have had to live apart because of our jobs, things have been hard for us, but I thought he still loved me just as much. We were planning to move in together and had found somewhere and everything. we went on holiday last week, and he was getting a lot of texts from another women. I eventually checked his phone and found one saying he missed her and loved her. I went mad at first, but since then have tried to work things out. However, he said that he still loved me but only as a friend. he not seeing this women, he broke it off with her, and I believe him when he says this. I have found it really difficult this week, and couldn't stop calling, texting and emailing him saying how I felt so miserable and wanted him back. He now said he;s head is messed up and he doesn't know what he wants out of life anymore. That he needs space and not to contact him for a while nd that I should make a clean break and not wait for him to work himself out. Is this just a way of saying he doesn't love me at all and wants me out of his life, even though he says he wants to friends in the future. I;m so confused. I miss him so much and cant seem to stop crying and feeling terrible. Is it really over for good?
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needs space, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006): Ms. Anon, I know you're feeling heart-broken, but you should consider that you aren't losing much, if this guy can so easily go for someone else like that. Love incorporates more than physical comfort/connection. If he can so easily go for someone else, then wouldn't that allow u to question his stability in the first place?
A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (24 July 2006):
 Its over. Stop calling else you'll just feel even worse. Sounds like his mind's made up and not gonna change it.
Just think like this: screw him, he's a lying cheating s.o.b! You can find someone else :-)
Hope that works!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006): Yes I am sorry but he doesn't want to see you he's trying to let you down without hurting you further, these are classic signs. I went through the same with my ex girlfriend and agonised for months, there's no easy way to put it but I genuinely believe it is over, you will hurt for a while but tell yourself it is his loss and if he doesn't want to be with you then why the hell should you want to be with him...it would seem obvious he has anopther girlfriend and he has been cheating on you, perhaps not sleeping with the new girl...but certainly cheating on the love and trust you had with him by carrying on and confiding in her behind your back, you willnever trust him again anyway..I think it is time to move on thank goodness it happened now, and not after you were married, keep yourself busy and catch up with old friends who are generally the best, and take care.
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