A
female
age
30-35,
*.b.williams
writes:I have liked the same guy for about 4 years now, we have never dated or anything like that, however have had flings on nights out when we are both drunk. He's always very suggestive and every single time we're at the same party we will always kiss. We are very flirtatious in college and talk quite a lot about our personal issues and i felt i could trust him. This unfortunately took a turn when a group of us from college went on a trip, for the duration of the excursion he completely had nothing to do with me, blanked me and flirted constantly with a girl he claimed he 'hated'. On the evening when in our rooms, he was in bed with the girl he claimed he hated (she's supposed to be my best friend), they were joking around and flirting whilst i was all by myself listening to it in the bed next to them. A surge of anger rushed through me, i leapt out of bed and ran out of the room in tears. It was definitely out of character and my reaction shocked myself. He ran out after me really apologetic and tried to justify himself by saying, "I'm so sorry, trust me nothing happened,,,," Which made me question why does he feel he even has to justify himself to me? Still to this day he brings up the incident and apologises for 'treating me like crap'. The trip was now a couple of months back and i can never truly understand what had quite gone on there. He's completely normal with me and always makes a point of saying 'hey' when he sees me and i feel him looking deep into my eyes. I just don't really know what to do, is he playing me along? Why did he feel he had to justify himself during the trip (and still now)? How do i try and move on from both him and the incident? If anyone has any answers to any of the questions i would really appreciate some advice as i'm so lost and confused!!
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best friend, drunk, flirt, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k.b.williams +, writes (12 June 2012):
k.b.williams is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your reply, really helped getting an outsiders perspective on the situation!
I think you're definitely right about the honesty...just going to have to pluck up the courage from somewhere to talk to him straight about how i feel!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (12 June 2012):
 I think your best bet is to talk to him face to face. If you are interested in dating him, let him know? Maybe not :"I want you to be my BF!" but let him know that you kinda like him and would like to get to know him better.
DO NOT sleep with him until you two have decided where you are heading, IF you are heading in the same direction TOGETHER.
I would also ask him why he pulled that stunt on the trip. Again IF you two start to hang out/date. Talk about it and put it in the past.
You really don't have any claims on him. You kissed a few times at parties, you know each other, sort of. That doesn't mean he can't see/kiss/flirt with others. (same goes for you). I'm guessing he really didn't know that you cared - til you ran out the door crying. Or he was kissing her to get a reaction from you.
But I would suggest that you are honest with him.
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