A
female
age
36-40,
*iona123
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 4 months. We were set up by a mutual friend of ours. But since the first 2 dates we now always go out with four of his other friends (2 couples). The only time me and him actually get to have a conversation together is the time between us picking his friends up in his car and dropping them off after a meal all together at a pub or something. Our physical contact has now been limited to one peck on the lips when he drops me off home. Intially for the first 2 dates we were in a lot of sexual physical contact with each other but have never had sex. Since he has introduced me to his friends I feel out of my depth because I didnt really know him that well and I was intoduced to his friends and now while we are sat there talking to his friends I'm not getting to know him any better. We did go away together for a weekend (to see some of his friends) and we stayed in a hotel room overnight but we only kissed, nothing else physical happened. A few weeks ago I got really drunk at a party and he came to pick me up and I said a lot of things in the car that really hurt him such as that I was still in love with my ex boyf (which is total utter rubbish!!) but some comments were more personal about him. We had a big relationship talk the other night and he said that he didn't feel 'coupley' around me and that he only had friendly feelings for me but likes having me as a girlfriend and that he was intially attracted to me but doesnt know whats happened. He is also hurt by what I said drunkenly that night and he believes that it is based on true feelings and I've really tried to convince him they're not true at all. I've suggested to him we spend more time alone together but he says that all his dates in past relationships have been with friends but the difference is he was friends with his girlfriends for at least a yeah beforehand. I'm the first girlfriend he's not been friends with first. I don't think he wants to have a relationship a different way to how he has before. He says he needs time to think. How can we put the spark in the relationship that was intially there? I have read so many articles on this but we have only been together 4 months and don't love each other, our feelings have only been turned into friendly feelings, my theory is that because we spend so much time with his friends we never have any time alone togther and our relationship has turned into the 'friend' catagory. We both like having each other as a boyf/girlf but how can we get to know each other better? Reiginite those first sexual feelings we had for each other? Plus how can i get him to forgive me for my drunken ramblings that night? Please help!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 He is a friend's friend. He likes to do everything with his friends.When he is alone, he will feel lost and confused. That is why he does not want to date you alone.Friends maybe fun but there are times when you need to be together for each other.
If you have apologize to him , just let it go. Do not keep bringing up this matter. In time, it will be forgotten. The ball is at his feet.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (27 January 2008):
 I am thinking that this relationship isn't going to progress much further in terms of what your needs are. This guy doesn't sound like he wants a real connective relationship with you, just someone to hold the corners down with his friends.
I am sure if he is still seeing you that he has gotten past the drunken night of confessions. If you have been over this and told him your real feelings and he chooses not to believe you, then so be it. You can not do his thinking for him.
I think you should take a pause and think about whether or not this relationship can meet your needs because if it were me, I'd be long gone.
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A
male
reader, NycZem +, writes (26 January 2008):
 Well somebody needs to realize that things are supposed to be separate. You are supposed to have ur friends and he supposed to have his. Sure mixing is fine, but you need to let him know you have needs. Tell him to grow up and please his woman, im only 19 and i know this.
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