A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently moved in with my Boyfriend, I have been with him for 5 years, Things were ok but then all of a sudden he seemed to turn. We used to talk and now we dont. We dont get on we make each other miserable. i dont want to leave him but i dont want to stay with him either. We argue all the time and i make everybody else miserable i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, xx-miss-cupid-xx +, writes (19 January 2007):
 Hey x
This sounds like a hard situation. Before you decide whether or not to leave him, I think you should sit him down and try to establish what's going wrong and why you argue all the time.
If he doesn't give you straight answers and just argues at you, then it's time to move on. You deserve more than to be miserable, everyone does.
If you can't bear leaving him though, why don't you suggest living in seperate houses for a while so that you can both calm down a bit. See if things go back to how they were and if they become OK again then try living together again.
Good luck I hope it goes well for you!
Cara -x-
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): i know exactly how that is, i was in the same situation about 3 months ago. now i ended up just telling him he needed to leave and i just came back home to get things in my life straight. and it wasn't easy and i cried and missed unconditionally but i realized that if the only kind of communication between us was an argument and that i found myself going to bed every nite pissed off and upset that it wasn't worth it. point is that if both of you are unhappy then maybe living together isn't the right thing for ya'll now. try living separately again and if ya'll can work that out then later on try moving in together
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 when your with someone for five years it is really hard to break things off. I agree with the other and take some much needed space. If things were better before you guys moved in together, find out what went wrong since then. I would suggest you guys communicate and not rush out the door on a relationship that has a lot of history.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 January 2007):
 If you're making each other miserable maybe it's time to take a break and see how you do apart for a while. Potentially you'll miss each other so much that you'll want to save the relationship or maybe it'll just give you the clarity you need and you'll realise you're not happy in this relationship anymore.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): Give each other space. Maybe that's what you two need. OR maybe you two need to get away to some far off destination together. I suggest Asia's rural sectors if you two are adventurers.
That is, if you're willing to work out the dilemmas of your relationship, great, but if it's just a one way street, maybe it's time for you to move on. Talking is all fine and dandy, but there comes a time when the 'overhead' may be too great. [wink]
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (19 January 2007):
 You need to make time and sit down to talk, share your feelings and establish why do you argue.
Every relationship has ups and downs, there is hope though.
After five years, you may need to boost your relationship with some passion to keep it interesting so things to not get stale.
You find that you argue about trivial things, which hide the real issues. The only way to improve is by talking and working on this relationship together. Do not just discuss your problems, also remind each other what first attracted one to other to re-ignite the spark.
It takes patience, love, respect and understanding to keep a good relationship going. You have been together for five years, which is a long time to thow away without a fight. Hope things get better
Good luck x
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