A
female
age
30-35,
*aliMoore
writes:I have a male best friend and we have been friends for 3 years. A few months ago, we have told each other that we have mutual feelings about one another, but after that he didn't act like he felt that way. He tells me things that he has never told anyone and says that he trusts me, which is also mutual for me too. I confronted him after he acted differently and he told me he didnt want a relationship, so i spent less time with his as i didnt want to get attached, we grew apart and hardly talked.Then Recently (2 weeks ago) we were both at a houseparty, we ended up spending most of the party together, we kissed, cuddled and hung out like a couple (even people commented about how we were acting as if we were going out) we were like that throughout the whole party, and when it got to the early hours we ended up staying the night at our friends house, we shared a single bed, and kissed and cuddled for a majority, before falling asleep in each others arms.I asked him at the party, once realising how we were acting; if things were gonna go anywhere, because im not looking for a one night thing, and He said that he wanted to take things slow, and i accepted it and we made plans to see each other shortly afterwards. Before we made it to this plan, he began acting differently again, i confronted him and he told me that in his heart he wanted to be with me, but he felt he wasn't good enough for me and said that i deserve the best; which he felt he was far from. He then said how he didnt want a relationhip with me, in case he hurt me and messed me about like before and lost me completely; not even friends.I am starting to become confused because I feel like hes leading me on because he says he likes me and wants to be with me but he doesnt want a relationship. I dont know if I should just stay friends because I really like him and I know if we were together we would be great together but I dont want to wait around. I am trying to understand his stand point but it makes me feel like I am not good enough to be with him. I dont think I should have to show him what he is missing out on if he already "likes me." But i can't make him be with me, but i feel like he forgets im in this too, and its not just what he says goes. It's like he wants to have me when HE feels like it, i dont know how to act with him, friends or more? its starting to get to me.Thanks in advance, sorry for the long question! x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2010): hii'm kindof in the same sitation. But it's the other way round for me. SO i hope i can give you the opposite perpective, and help you out.i really like my friend who's a boy, ands he feels the same. But i don't want to 'ask him out.' This is because i think if we go from suddenly being friends to boyfriend and girlfriend a whole load of pressure will be added to the relationship. I want it to be natural and slow. Hang out as friends, and perhaps sometimes circumstance will feel 'right' to kiss or something. This will probably extend. Maybe your boy (like me) dosn't want to force or wreck anything. Just hang out as friends go with the flow, and don't be scared to (if it feels right) move in for a kikss now and again..hope this helps you a little
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 In guy parlance,that simply means : I don't want to be monogamous. I like you,but if I happen into a some other chance for sex on romance I am not gonna miss it, and I know that you'd be upset -and I don't want all these complications.
If you want a stable relationship, I think you are not on the same page. He has been honest about it- it just tried to be diplomatic.
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A
female
reader, ilovedannyjones  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Hi Calimoore,
I think it's better to just express your feelings and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't want a relationship then what's the point of liking each other? If you really love him, tell him. Work things out. And spend more time together to make him realize how you feel about him. Just be friendly, honest and straight to him. Do something nice that would make him like you. For eg: ask him what he likes and buy him gifts or sometimes invite him over at your place or go to movies, if you know what i mean. :) I wish you all the best.
xoxo
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