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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, um where shud i begin really well i was with this guy for 3 years on and off i met him over the internet when i was 16 and went to meet him, it felt like love at first sight then he left me 4 times through these 3 years and always came back to me becos i let him and still loved him now we broke up for the 4th time a month ago roughly and we became pretty good mates from it becos we thought we might as well try, and tonight he sed he hates him self for what he has done and i not sure if he still loves me or whatnot i dnt know if i love him or cud ever take him back again, we have sex still and hug and kiss alot, is this one way of him telling he still wants me? he tells me through text pretty much every day how he hates being single i just want to know weather if it came to it if its worth me getting back with him or will i just gte hurt again?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2006): My advice is to move on. It sounds as if he is only with u cos he hates being single and that means he is using u. These make-up-break-up merry go round relationships are destructive. I have seen the results. Not pretty.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): I agree with what the other aunts have said.
If you're still seeing him and still having sex, you have not really broken up. You have to think about this and decide what you want. It could go on the way it has for another three years. Do you want THAT?
Or do you want to either decide to be together or not?
Another option is to finish with him entirely and concentrate on your own life.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Firstly I feel you need to stop having sex with him, then you need to work through what you feel towards him and what you want from him.
If you do get back together you need to make sure it is really what you want as I'm sure you don't want another 3 years of this.
Good luck :o)
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Personally, I say let him wallow in his self pity for awhile. This gives you a chance to figure out if you want to be with him and lets him really think about what he has done. Things will never change if you keep doing the same things over and over again. You have to take a different approach. If you keep doing the same things you keep getting the same results. Make a change. Forget about the relationship for awhile and work on yourself. If its real love it will keep and if not it will fade away. Be positive and supportive. You don't have to have sex and kiss to show someone you love them. Be his friend for now but take time for yourself and figure it out without his involvement. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Hi dearie,
i'm afraid u have to really analyse the relationship u have with this kind. what the problems are? Can they be tackled?
what has put things have put a strain on the relationship for this long??perhaps one of the factors is that u are two different people with different ideas, or u want different things? In any of this cases it might be best not to contemplate going back and move on.These are just given examples to make u understand that u have to think about the reasons. It is important becos even u guys go back to each other there is always a probablity that they might be another breakup and it isnt a healthy way to have a relationship.
Take care dear and all the best.kelly
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