A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi.. i want some advice. well i work with this guy who i met on my first day at work, he was really helpful to me but he kept wanting to be working near me all the time. at first i thought this was a bit weird but then i got used to it (and also because i told my cousin who also works at the same place as us and she said he was a really nice guy). after that he used to talk to me a lot and he would make sure we took our breaks at the same time and wait for me when we finished just to say bye. he also used to flirt a lot with me but i didn't do anything back and didn't lead him on/encourage him because he told me he was engaged to a girl he lived abroad and he's about 8 years older than me. then some older women at work used to ask me whether anything was going on with him and whether he fancied me and they were disgusted by the fact that i spent so much time with him when i knew he was engaged. so i tried not speaking to him during our breaks etc and tried to work on different jobs than him, but he would always come sit with me/work with me. anyway i have to admit that we got close and we became good friends (but nothing else happened between us and i didn't want it to), as we had fun together at work and it was good working with him. Because i was friends with him this ruined a relationship that i had with another guy at work because he also thought there was something going on between us. last week i left work and he's now told me that he has also left. i hope that it wasn't because of me, but it seems that because i left he has too. Now I don't know whether i should stop seeing him/speaking to him because I know there's nothing going on but outward appearances seem to always be working against us (and i defo don't want him to break up with his fiancee). what should i do, because my freinds say that i must have deeper feelings for him to care about seeing him still?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 He isn't married yet, maybe he is having second thoughts, and BEFORE a marriage is the time to have them rather than after. So I say go ahead and stay friends with him, if he decides to break off with his fiancee then maybe you two can carry it further.
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