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We haven't had sex for 4 months, but b/f watches porn 4 times a week

Tagged as: Pornography, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2012)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

ok you all saay don't worry about the porn, it took a while and l have excepted that this man of mine will watch porn till he die, ok what do l do about he can watch pron all day or about 3 to 4 times a week, but l have not had sex for about 4 months, what's the deal with that?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2012):

Miamine agony auntJust seen your follow up... the thing is, sometimes porn can help men who are having problems with erections and low sexual desire, sometimes it can harm. It's difficult to say if pornography with your guy makes things better or worse.

You present as aged 51-59, I'll assume the guy is the same age. Many men this age do have problems with sex and erections. You've been to the doctors, and the doctor says it could be stress. It also could be the medication he is taking.

I say you need to practice elimination and romance. First, no porn and no intercourse of any kind. (that's the elimination bit) Second you must increase the romance. You give him kisses, cuddles, blow jobs (but no orgasms for him) You try to make him feel sexy, but without expecting sex to come of it. This is to try to make him hungry for sex so the penis will come up. It's also to encourage him to turn to you first for any sex fulfilment. Try this for at least a month. Remember, no porn for him, lots of foreplay but no orgasms (for him). Hope this will increase his sexual desire.

Thirdly, go back to the doctor and get them to check his testorone. Often it is low in men of this age. Check on the internet/google for the necessary tests (doctors sometimes miss some out. If his testorone is low, the doctors can prescribe hormone therapy or even Viagra.

From what you say, he may be watching porn, but it's not clear if this gives him an easy erection and orgasm or he is still having difficulty.

Try these steps before you get angry and upset. Pornography may be his way of coping with this physical problem and preventing him feeling like an old broken man.

Come back and update your post in a month and tell us how your getting on.

The option of using pornography to help would be the next option, unfortunately it involves you watching porn together and finding what thing will turn him on. But I'd try no porn, lots of foreplay, no orgasm and medication from the doctor first.

Good luck...

PS: Didn't understand one thing in your post.. do you use a vibrator... I suggest you use it in front of him during the lots of foreplay/no sex month... hopefully it should stimulate him more than the porn.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

person12345 agony auntThough there's incredibly little information in this post, if he's watching a lot of porn and not having sex I'd say he's an addict. Have you tried talking to him about it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

all l know is that the man l've been married to for 30 yrs has changed, l have examined the matter and has come up with maybe he's going through mid-life crisis, when l explain my matters to older women that's their opinion. but his manhood had been giving him problems, was not getting up like normal, went to the doctor he ask him what was he stressed out about, we thought it was medication, but it was not, but since he's not working, that don't mean l'm out of order, use what you can to make me happy, is that selfish? HE DON'T KISS NO MORE NOR HUG, L MISS THE SLAP ON THE BOTTOM EVERY NOW AND THEN L USE TO GET. help...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

If he was always watching porn and he was having sex with you before but he has stopped now then maybe it is something else, so you need to talk with him to figure it out. If he is becoming more addicted to porn, it sounds like it if he watches it all day, and that is why the sex has stopped then you need to discuss it. Porn is, as someone said, a fantasy which people can become addicted to and harmed by, it makes having a real sexual relationship difficult.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

DoubleM agony auntPornography is free speech, but addictive. While I would never condemn or censor it, it is truly a detriment to normal relationships. It is fantasy. Anyone caught up in it is probably not a good mate.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthave you asked him?

we have NO clue why he is not having sex with you.

is he still affectionate and attentive? is he still kind to you and considerate?

does he drink or smoke? both of those can cause ED... perhaps he has ED?

is he masturbating to climax while watching this porn?

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