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We had rough sex, and I was hurt a bit, but not so bad, my boyfriend feels terrible, how can I convince him it wasn't that bad?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2008)
A age 30-35, * writes:

Several days ago, i had sex with my boyfriend. He went very rough. I told him it hurt, surprizingly it did. He pulled out, we had notice i bled a bit. He thinks im still in pain, and still bleeding but im not. Vincent wont believe that im fine, he so confusing i cant get it through his head! Since then he keeps saying he's sorry, like i said i told him im fine and thats its ok. Can anyon help me out? Something that will convince him im alright? He's always worried he'll hurt me, and he feels bad now. I honestly dont get it. I love him but i just dont get it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

It just means he is a good guy and would never want to hurt you. All you can do is reassure him that it hurt a little, you're fine now and you know he didn't mean to hurt you.

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (31 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntOops, didn't see ChiRaven's advise. It's similar to mine... just more detailed.

Original poster, I wasn't kidding about the "harder!" thing. If you keep on telling him that you like it like that (like ChiRaven suggested), his confidense will boost up and probably forget about this. At first it will hurt a bit (endurable, you're a big girl anyways), but you will learn to like it. Take it from experience. *giggle*

And I'm so glad DevionLest, hope you have sweet dreams with little white sheeps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

No, thanks PsyCookie, I'm sure it is that. Just never heard of it happening before. If it's overexcitement, well that's alright. You know what it is and so I'll relax..

Sorry babes, it's just that I got worried, but I've taken advice, and now Psycookie has given her experince, this thing happens to women and it dosen't mean anything. I suggest you follow the advice given by ChiRaven at the beginning...

Have fun, and tell him to relax, because you've heard (from us) that this thing happens when men get excited and your not hurt at all and you are only angry because he gets upset.....

Thanks PsyCookie for helping to put my mind at rest.. Now I'm off to bed, goodnight and everyone have a good day....

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (31 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntJust2love, if your boyfriend just came in rough like just suddenly (like a jerking move, this is the best way I can explain it) because he was too exited, then I can connect with you.

I had a similar experience. During the "session", my boyfriend came in a bit rough... I guess he was just too exited. I bled too and he felt SO guilty afterwards and kept saying sorry.

What I did was just tell him I was ok and that I forgave him, he didn't mean it anyways. He was like that for a month and he just... forgot about it. I don't know if he remembers now but one thing I'm very sure about is that me telling him "harder!" while at it has helped him get over it.

*giggle*

But anyways, listen to DevionLestat's great advise. Your situation may not be like mine, but I just wanted to share to you a similar experience.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

Yes babes, I understand. You know I like your Vincent, but he sounds like he was unhappy before he met you..

Now you and I both know that rough stuff and bleeding like this isn't any good, and I wouldn't be a good aunt if I didn't say something.

Normally I would say, you two shouldn't be together anymore, that's what I should say. But you like him and your happy, I like your happiness.. but I don't like some of the stuff your saying that has to do with sex...

He feels bad, well he should. You need to talk to him, find out why this has happened. Dose rough sex turn him on and he's ashamed. Is he angry and resentful with you and trying to hide it? Babes, all kinds of things are going through my head, and if you were my daughter, I would want to have a long talk with Vincent...

You need to find out why it happened and if it will happen again. How do you feel about the whole thing, was you scared, frightened, are you bloody hurt? Maybe we need you to go to the doctors and check if everything is alright?? :^{

Please update babes, anyway, you and Vincent need to have a talk. I really like that you come here for answers, I can see how hard you are trying to get this to work and make your relationship into everything a young lady dreams off...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

Hey babes,

Sorry to be nosey, but what made him go so roughly and what caused you to bleed?

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (31 August 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntOK, so he wants to play knight in shining armor and protect his lady from harm. Pain in the butt, ain't it?

I think about the best you're going to do is just lay it on the line with him. Sort of grab him by the ears and tell him look, I wanted what we did, we did what I wanted. Yes, it hurt a little bit, but I wanted it anyway. I want it again, and even if it were to hurt again I still want it again. I got over it. Now it's your turn. YOU get over it. I'm fine now, and that's the way I expect you to be.

Let him know that you're a grown woman and you'll make your own decisions, and that the pain just wasn't that big a deal and it's all gone now and doesn't mean anything to you. You've put it behind you, and you want him to do the same. You expect it.

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