A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, Need some advice please. Been friends with a colleague at work for 3 years, getting along well and a little v. innocent flirting within strict boundaries since both in long-term relationships. Both relationships finished - his 18 months ago and mine earlier this year. Before we broke up for summer hols he gave me his mobile number suggesting we get together for lunch. Having always been attracted to him (and him to me I felt) I texted him and we exchanged a number of text messages but still no invite. In the end I suggested sex with no strings and two days ago we shared a fantastic, sexy and loving afternoon in bed followed by a long and relaxed chat in his garden. Later I suggested round two but he went slightly wistful and said no, so I took the hint and said I would go. He was very apologetic and seemed confused about declining: difficulties as we work together? not ready for relationship? He didn't seem to know. I said it was fine and we parted on good terms but I have felt pretty wretched since. Just texted him to thank him and compliment him on our afternoon together and he has responded with "That's ok". Can any men out there tell me what happened? I know he finds me attractive and I do him and we seem to share lots in common, so what's the problem? By the way I'm a young looking 42, attractive, size 8-10, intelligent, and completely normal! He is late 30s and never been married.
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female
reader, Fairy Godmother +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Thank you very much for your feedback. You have confirmed my fears but it's better to know.
I am definitely a relationship kind of gal and not a no-strings sex siren (though I was pretty good, even though I do say so myself!). Although our afternoon together was heavenly and I wish I could re-live it, my soul doesn't feel good.
Interesting to see what happens when we return to work in September. I will not initiate any contact with him again and will behave like the perfect lady when I next see him.
Thank you!
A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 I think you are coming on a little too strong, and he is overwhelmed. It' started as no strings and that's how he sees it. Men can have sex without any emotions involved. Not women.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): From this angle it seems like u offered him no strings sex hoping it would lead to something more. He has declined a relationship but had a piece of the action. We are all different so its hard to generalise. If this was me behaving like that it would be because i didnt want a relationship and repeats are just one step closer. I think you are far more keen then he is. Personaly
I would back off.
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