A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do I really know if my relationship is over?I got back with my ex about 10 weeks ago after being apart since earlier in the year. This was my decision.My ex kept texting me to try and we somehow got back together early September. Now though I can't look at the relationship as I once did. I'm not that bothered whether we spend time together and I'm not physically attracted to him anymore - not sure if that is because of the time we were apart.We don't live together and have no kids together but we had been seeing each other about 4 years before the split. I'm not sure I can carry on just trying to be happy - although he is a really nice guy it just doesn't seem enough somehow. Has anyone else felt the same?
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male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (20 November 2007):
 I was with a girl for just over a year, we split for 3 months and then when we got back together, it was definately not the same, and it just made things worse, as when we split the first time we were able to see each other, be friends, go out with the rest of our friends no problem at all. The second time of being in a relationship simply exacerbated matters, caused upset and the break up of a previously life long friendship. Personally, I would never do it again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I know you dont want to hear this now, but i always say never ever go back. People change and some of the things that we found annoying about that person can become worse when we have spent some time away from them. Their little ways become major pains when we go back. Just ask yourself just what you want from this relationship, if the answers are not what you want to hear then i would move on and dont ever go back. Life is much too short to waste it.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 November 2007):
 I think that when we break up with someone we are desperate to be alone for whatever reason. Maybe we've realised we don't love our partner anymore, maybe the arguments have been making life not worth living, maybe it's a completely different reason. The thing is, as soon as we're out of our destructive relationship we suddenly start to feel that things weren't all that bad. It sounds like this is what's happened with you and your ex's constant pestering to get back together has just exacerbated those feelings. Now that you're back together however, you've realised that all the problems didn't go away when you broke up the first time. It's likely that there's no trust anymore or that the attraction has gone.
The last time I experienced this was when I was 17, and by my own admission, I didn't know much about love, but all I can tell you is that sometimes the hard decision is the right one, even if it means hurting the same person all over again. Hope this helps.
CD
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