A
female
age
41-50,
*CJ
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. The past 8 months we've spent working together on a cruise ship so it's been pretty full-on. We agreed to a 2-3week break before I would fly out to see him (he lives in another country about 3 hour away).We discussed how I felt about being apart as it did make me anxious. He agreed when I said that although time apart would do us good, I wouldn't want to 'be ignored' so wanted to hear from him once a day at least, it could either be just a text, call or email. He was fine with this as he knew how much it meant to me, and he wanted to keep contact too.The whole plan for when he went home was so that he could get a part time job to save up for a course to in the end get a better job = better pay = better life for the both of us (his words).He has been pretty stressed with the amount of money he made whilst we were on the ship. It wasn't nearly enough, and where he comes from holds some responsibility to his families expenses... and he has a lot of pride which is typical of his nationality. Also other things are weighing on his mind with his Grans house changing (she only died last year) etc etc.Anyway, he was fine for the first couple of days with texts and a couple of phone calls. But now he is telling me that he needs time on his own to figure things out because there's so many things on his mind, it's acting like a filter for the love he has for me. He's told me that I am the last person he would hurt and still loves me and wants to be with me, but needs just a little time to get back to basics so to speak.So this is it....there have been texts and a couple of calls. It's all quite light-hearted and still calls me "babe" or "hon", with a kiss at the end of a txt. I have asked him outright "do you still want to be with me and do you still love me?" Both of which he's said "yes, I just need time to figure out things".My initial feeling is that he does still love me, he would be man enough to tell me it was over I know this. But I still get anxious at this whole space thing. I don't want to take it personally so am going through a difficult phase of how to cope?
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (21 June 2009):
 the guy has been pretty clear with you -he wants to be alone and needs his space. so try and stop clinging onto him, and focus on your present life.
it is difficult to cope under this situation but you have to respect his wishes and let him come to a decision.
Dont read too much into his texts and try and remain strong, am sure if he loves you as he says he will come back to you!
in the meanwhile have your friends and family around you as a support network, and leave this relationship in the past.
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