A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Right, well... I was going out with this guy over the summer for about 2 months, and at first it was really good, we really liked each other, but then he got very distant and cold, hardly ever texted me and avoided me like I was a walking disease. This really messed me up in the head and I just got really upset over it. Then he broke up with me and we actually stayed really good friends afterwards, I was quite impressed with us! But then, over the pastt few weeks he's been hitting on me more and more and tried to kiss me a few times, but I've pulled away. Then, this wednesday, we were sharing a lift home after going clubbing, but I couldnt find the seatbelt, so he put his arm around me to hold me in and somehow we ended up kissing...he started telling me how much he'd missed me and what an idiot he'd been to break up with me and that he wanted to give it another go. I was sceptical but was giving it serious consideration because, although he'd treated me terribly at the time, his grandmother had been dying of cancer back then, and that would mess anyone up. So I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then I found out that he had cheated on me when we were going out the first time, although he says it was just one tiny kiss and he pushed the girl off after about 10 seconds, but I only have his word for that...I still want him and am willing to believe he could be better than that...but...I don't know, should I trust him? I just really don't want to be hurt and treated badly and humiliated again...
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female
reader, Xx-Ellie-xX  +, writes (5 November 2007):
if you feel like you cant trust him well thats not a good thing to build a new relationship on!! maybe just take it easy for awhile, put him to the test ! if he loves you he will be willing to wait !
A
female
reader, Miss C +, writes (5 November 2007):
 He doesn't deserve another chance to be honest. I know what happened to his grandmother is awful and yes it excuses him for perhaps being distant with you but it sounds like a feeble excuse for justifying why he treating you terribly.
Then there's the fact he cheated on you. You said you found out. Does that mean he admitted or does that mean you were told by someone else? If it's the latter then he's obviously not to be trusted. If he really wanted to make a go of it with you again he would've been honest from the beginning. That's what people who care about each other do.
If i had been hurt and humiliated as badly as you have I wouldn't give him another chance. He sounds like he'll probably just break up with you again when things get rough for him and he has taken you for granted completely. He should've made an effort to work on issues with you that concerned him instead of doing the cowardly thign and ignore you completely. You don't want someone who doens't take your feelings into consideration.
At the end of the day though we can only give you advice, the decision is yous and yours only. If you believe he's worth a second chance then go for it. You obviously know him better than me but that is just my opniion regarding the information I have been given. I wish you great luck in whatever decision you decide to make! Please keeps us upadated! Miss C xx
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