A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 6 yrs and we have been together for 14 yrs..my husband and I have always had relationship problems..he always lies to me and he is verbally semi phyiscal abusive and since we started dating he always wanted me to sleep with another person. So a couple of years ago I was just so fed up with him and how he was treating me..I did..then I told him right away about it and he said he forgives me..but since then we just cant make it work out..what should I do..I feel really bad about what I did but on the other hand I feel like I did nothing wrong.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): he did not force you to sleep with another man. would you have complied if he told you to jump off the highest bridge????????"I feel like I did nothing wrong.." well if you believe you did nothing wrong then nothing i say will change this. perhaps you need to look at yourself and see what is missing. look at yourself and evaulate your morals and integrity. no wonder your marriage is not working out!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): This is only a matter of opinion, but when abuse is involved, no one should stay. You need to leave like last week. I know that there is a lot of history due to the length of time the two of you were together. You are a woman in a free country who has a choice. You've already wasted too much of your time on a man who doesn't deserve the dirt on your shoe let alone YOU. Don't settle for crumbs when you can get a seven course meal. As far as sleeping with another man, that is all on you. You are a grown woman who thinks for herself. You made the conscious decision to sleep with another man because according to you, you were fed up with him. I don't mean to be harsh, but you are putting the actions of sleeping with another man on your husband because you don't like what is happening after your affair. I do give you credit for telling him the truth. At the end of the day, we DO NOT take the advice from people when it doesn't make a bit of sense. In this case, this make no sense. In essence, you need to get out of your abusive marriage. Women are dying everyday at the hands of the ones who CLAIM that the love them. There are all kinds of support groups, hotlines, shelters, etc. to help you. Domestic violence is a very serious crime. The only way that this country is ever going to resolve this issue is if women start getting out and seeking help. Bastards like your husband should not be around in society. They are only here to destroy. I know this sound harsh and judgemental, but I really want you to understand the seriousness of your situation even though clearly you don't. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): You sound like you've never been happy with this guy so why are you staying? That is what you need to think hard about. Maybe you could get some counselling, to see why you want to stay with someone who has been so abusive towards you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 October 2009):
He doesnt' treat you all that well. I think it's crunch time. You need to sit down with him and ask him if he wants this to work. Tell him you don't expect to be treated so badly. Be brave. Don't allow yourself to be treated this way. Have a heart to heart talk about whether this marriage can be fixed. Sounds like you need a lot of couples counselling to me. If he's not willing to even listen, then maybe it's time to move on.
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