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writes: Dear AliceMy and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 18 months. Throughout this time, he has always assumed that I would be the one to end the distance and move up to his city to be with him. Never had he suggested he be the one. He is 20 and I am 17, fresh out of high school. Throughout this year we have been planning my move to his university, where I will live by myself in a small room. I know no one else in his city, so have always feared I will be incredibly lonely and end up depressed. Also, my parents beleive I am too young to move, and he should instead, considering his age and financial security. However, he is not open to contemplating this, even though my family have offered him a room in our house. I cannot handle another year of long distance, and I know he can't either. But without the financial or emotional support of my parents, it will be incredibly hard for me to abandon all my friends and family for him. I see him as being very selfish, expecting me to sort our relationship out and be the burden to our problems. I do love him, but we are stuck. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (22 October 2005):
First, start this out by writing, " MY Boyfriend and I"... You should be embarrassed to have finished high school and still not handle English grammar correctly. Next, you are only 17, and until you are 18 you are your family's responsibility, 24/7. Third, you don't know what you can stand and not stand. If your bf is in school, his focus is, and should be, on finishing his degree, before going out into the work force and earning a living for the both of you. It is unreasonable for you to expect him to end his education, move to your parent's home, and do what? Does he have a job to go to? Get a job, or go to school, and visit him on weekends. If this is the real deal, it will last until he finishes his education and finds a job. Then you can be together wherever that is.
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