A
female
age
30-35,
*ommy to be
writes:Me and my boyfriend moved in together, we fought a lot though. Well the last time we fought it was over myspace, I know stupid, his friend said she wrote something to me and I never got it, he believed her over me when I said that I did not receive her message. Well after that conversation I told him I didn't need him and he told me to leave. He knew that I was pregnant at the time that he did tell me to leave. Last Saturday he came by to talk to me and he said that he no longer loves me nor does he ever want to be with me again...What do I do? I mean I'm having a child with this man. Do I keep trying to talk to him and find a way to be with him or do I just move on and let him be but still keep him in the childs life?
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broke up, move on, moved in, myspace Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (5 March 2009):
 Let him simmer and realize the mistake he made. I wouldn't put yourself through the stress of trying to patch up a romantic relationship with him.
Honestly, if I were you, I'd leave and keep an open line of communication with him when he decided he wanted to be a part of his baby's life. You just need to focus on you and this baby. Screw him and his mom if they can't deal with things in a more mature way. Oh, and this is your baby, not hers, don't try to please her at all.
You just stay healthy. If he doesn't have the good sense to be a good father at the very least, hen I say you are much better off not exposing your child to that kind of drama. Especially if he and his family are going to play you around like that.
Also, I would not hesitate to seek child support. If things do go down that road.
Good luck, Love!
A
female
reader, mommy to be +, writes (5 March 2009):
mommy to be is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you to everyone who has written a response but truthfully that's how it ended. It started over myspace and the words I dont need you came running out of my mouth. A week before that thought his mother did say she did not want a Serbian child to carry a Bosnian last name..and after that is when he started acting weird. Last Saturday was pretty much him just saying that he doesn't love me and he doesn't want to be with me...that's about it. And I am not going to kill my child for the mistakes that I have made. I am very happy to become a mother and I am getting my life together in order to be a great mother, I just did not know what to do when it came to him.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2009):
 He's financially responsible for his child. I think it's time for to plan for the baby. From what you've written, it sounds like you're going to be planning by yourself. I agree with damluvaam that someone needs to grow up here, and unfortunately, because of the baby, it's going to have to be you.
So yes, leave him alone for now, but make sure you know how to reach him. There is clearly more to this story than what you have written to us. I find it hard to believe that a relationship could break up over a missed message from Myspace. So there were things wrong already with the relationship, and neither of you knew how to work on it or had the inclination to fix it.
What do you need to do to get ready for the baby? Do you have a place to live? Do you have a pediatrician lined up? I hope that you have prenatal care and that you are taking good care of yourself. Get your friends and family ready to support you. You don't want to go through this all by yourself, so make sure you find the help you need.
It is not a great situation to be in, but it is where you are, so let's be practical about it. Right now, there's no point in looking back at what could have been. You need to look forward to the future, and plan for a future without him as a partner, just him as a father. That's not to say things might not change, but I believe in planning for the worst. You're going to be a mother soon, and that is the reality.
I wish you and your baby all the best.
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A
male
reader, Dalmatian +, writes (5 March 2009):
It sound to me like he found a easy way to get rid of
his pregnant girl friend. It is quite possible the
message was never sent and they set you up to get you out
of the picture. If it is not too late please consider
abortion.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 You can't really force your love on him. It will only drive him away.
Give him some space and some time.
I hope all works out.
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