A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have a question that keeps bothering me,I dated this girl for about 7 months till she broke up with me, the reason was that things didnt go really smooth between us. After the break up we somehow didnt lose touch and grew back together, but we never really came back together as a couple allthough we did the same things couples do. She told me she loved me more than ever, and felt that it was from a higher level and stuff. She told me She knew we would come back together someday in the future, she felt so sure about that. So i told her i would wait for her, till she was ready for full commitment.We decided to not see eachother in the meanwhile, but it didnt work, we kept seeing eachother every once in a while. In the end she told me i made her to insecure and she got doubts about us coming back together. Now she doesnt even want me back in her life again in any sort of way. I dont know what to do, i really loved this woman with all my heart and i just dont understand why she said all those words to me if she was so sure, cause now everything is brokenIm in pain bigtime
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Sounds like she was playing games with you.
You have my condolensces.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 You have a very good reason to be in pain. I'm sure that nearly everyone has been there at one time. So I think it's easy to understand what you feel.
You didn't do anything in particular to make her go. You don't have to think that if you did this or that perhaps she wouldn't have gone away. There is no guarantee that two people who love each other very much will be able to work as a couple. And so, breakups happen.
She dumped you, and it's best if you just move on. If you insist, you will only become a nuisance. And you won't get that girl back.
The worst part is how she dumped you. She did it by degrees. She was falling out of love, slowly but surely. In the end, she felt awful and didn't want to tell you she was dumping you, because she knew she would break your heart. She is telling the truth in saying that she's insecure; but she is not doing the right thing in saying that YOU make her insecure.
What is happening now is that her mind is made up and she is just not returning. You shouldn't insist. You need a clear sense of direction now, and insisting wouldn't help you. It would be very much like banging your head against the wall.
She is not a monster. It is very difficult to dump someone who loves you, and knowing that you love her makes it all the more difficult.
If it helps you, do a check of what went wrong and why. And don't repeat those mistakes with anyone else. But accept that this one relationship is over and move on.
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A
female
reader, ladycharm  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 ok i think she needs time away from you to figure out what she s feeling it sounds like she is cnfussed and maybe one day you will be together but i think its unfair for you to put your life on hold for to long she is right to say take some time apart if she doesent no how she feels i hope this helps
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