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female
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anonymous
writes: PLEASE help!I seriously need some advice. I was with my bf for 6 years we really had our ups and downs. We met when we where pretty young, but we somehow managed to stay together, grow and love each other more. However, I have been through many things since we met. I have gained an incridible amount of weight and it became a big issue between us, not really because of the way I looked, but the way that I felt. I have because extremely self - counscious and I have lost pretty much all self esteem. It was really hard on him, he really wanted to be with me, marry him, but then he started to have doubts mainly because he tought it could just become worst, and he told me many time that is he could do anything to make me happier, he would, no matter what it cost. Anyways, basically, at the end, our last year, I became worst, totally not happy with myself in every aspects of my life and stopped having sex with him for a year. I finally found a text message from another girl on his cell and he told me he was dating her, he started crying, he felt like we were now friends. it has been a couple of weeks and he saw my freidn the other day and they talked for hours, he is still with that girl, but it's not going very well, does not like her as much as he tought he would, even his friends see that he is not happy. He is really confused because he is missing me like crazy, but he is still with her i think. I am now taking the time to really think about myself, and I see big changes already, i have started to loose the weight and feel way better about myself. Now I really want him back, but only if we both change and know that we are really meant for each other. (By the way I am his first gf and his FIRST as well). I am not angry at him, because i understand and feel like this break up was the only way to resolve our problems. Now what do I do? Do I call him, or wait for him to be sure he wants to come back? Maybe it's too soon, but I am so scared he will fall in love with someone else by impulse.I am certain he truelly loves me, but how much. Please help, i need some advice, I don't want him to slip away for good.Thank you
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (1 August 2006):
 When you love someone no one can ever replace that feeling in your heart. Sometimes seperation makes you appreciate something more. Its like seeing what you have taken for granted for so long and the littles things that you used to do before, which seemed small then are huge now. I have been there!!! Tell him how you feel and leave it alone. If you press him then you won't get him back but let him find his own way back but you have to say something or you could lose him and neither one of you will be happy. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006): In my opinion, you should say all that you have to say before it is too late. Call him up, tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. It sounds as though he really truly cared for you and wanted to be with you, but the relationship just grew too plutonic for him. You feel better and look better now, so think about what it is that you really want before you take any action. Maybe this is a sign that it's time to explore your options. You never know what else is out there unless you go find out. Just follow your heart and be true to what it tells you. I'm sure it will lead you in the right direction. I wish you the best of luck with your situation and I hope everything works out okay. Stay strong!
~RJGirl
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