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We are virgins and want to loose it to each others, but how do I know she is really ready for this and not just does it anyway?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 November 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hiya well i have 3 things i want to ask you but they both really come into one. Well me and my gf have been going out about 8 months and are very much in love we know each ther inside out because we have been friends since we were like 5. I stop over at hers but in a seperate bed in her room alot of weekends have have done for years even when we were just friends because we have always been extremely close and comfortable with each other. We are both virgins and want to loose it to each other. Ses not to sure if shes 100% ready yet which i'm totally fine with because i don't want to do anything unless she really wants to. Just her mum and dad are going way over night one day next weekend and so we have the house to ourselves and she seems to be getting abit worked up over it. She said she wants me to sleep with her but shes not to sure about sex or anything which i've told her won't happen unless its her decision. She keeps saying she wants want that night to be the night because when we are together on our own all she wants is to feel me in her. I just wanna make her alot calmer about it all and try to make her stop trying to force herself to do things. How can i do that? i really believe she wants to but i think because shes thinking about it and expecting it then shes getting scared wereas if we just take things as they go on that night then i'd know she really wants to.

Also how do i know when the time comes if she really does want to or if shes making herself do it n how can you tell if shes scared etc? Also when her mum and dad are here we sometimes feel abit awkward like if we're watching tv late at night and its dark and she wants to cuddle up to me she seems nervous. Me and her mum and dad get on great and always have done as they have known me since i was a baby so are there any little things we could do at those times like when we feel we just need to be close that will be just as nice to do but won't be as noticeable? and also with her parents being there we don't get alot of time to ourselves they do both work but we are at college as well and i don't get on with my mum to well so i don't like to be at home much so how can we just sneak off for a quick cuddle? I have occasionally been going and sitting on her bed at night before we go to sleep because we haven't had anytime really to be together alone but then theres the danger of me falling asleep on there and someone may notice so if any of you can help we'd be soooooooooo greatful. thanks.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007):

first of all chill.you look a little to worried.im 25 so i have ex. so just take it slow.

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A female reader, AnnaW219 United Kingdom +, writes (18 November 2007):

AnnaW219 agony auntwell this is ok and you can tell that she wants it if she has a smile and she sujested it didnt she so i dont really think she doesnt want to do it but you can tell by watching that look on her face when you talk to her about it if she has a wierd look like shes scared or something shes doesnt not want to do it shes just scared that you may think shes rubbish and make her think shes ugly just ask her if shes comfertable say (name) you no i love you and i think your beautful so dont be afraid of me thinking you not beautiful do it when you feel you want to im not going to presure you into it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007):

All you can do is make sure she knows that YOU are fine without sex indefinitely. And that you don't want her to do anything she's not ready for just to please you.

After that, at some point this is just her emotional stuff to deal with.

It's impossible for your desire/pleasure not to factor into her decision at all. You can't stop her from wanting to please you. But you can just do your best to demonstrate that you are 100% fine with not having sex and that this is totally her call.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

hii =]

dont worry k ive been in this situation before.

i was just like your gf.

i was so worried i would do something wrong and because we had kinda plaaned it it seemed so akward.

the best thing to do is not to plan it k ? just stay the night with her and get close with her and then jus go with the flow. if its goin to happen it will happen kay =]

hope dis helped you =]

xxx

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