A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am looking for advice on my relationship. My partner of 8 years admitted to being friends with a female co-worker when he told me for 2 years he did not speak to her. I got very angry and upset over the deceit. He swore nothing ever happened between them and the he never even had her fone nbr or she never had his, that they never spoke outside of work. I find it so hard to believe anything he says now. I know he does not talk to her now as she got him into trouble in work over a work related incident ( she refused to do a job with him one day and the boss was shouting at him and in turn he shouted at her to do the work,) and he got a verbal warning and he was very angry over it. I know there is no communication between them now but i cant help worrying what happened in the past between them. I keep going back to a new sexual position he used over 6 moths ago and i found it strange at the time, and i now wonder did he learn that from her?.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies. Yes he told me he didnt even speak to her in work that he didnt like her. The new sexual position happened just around the time he got the verbal warning in work and when he said they stopped talking. I too have friends both male and female in work and so does he, that is no problem, what concerned me was that he made a point of saying he did not like this woman at all. His story as to why he stopped talking to her has changed a few times, first he said he thought she was dangerous, then another time he said he felt she was cracking and he was concerned she might start saying stuff about him as she had previous said to him stuff about other co workers.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 December 2012):
 so you assume the new sexual position is due to a woman not maybe PORN???? wow.
I have lots of male friends at work.. some I call sweetie or darling... some I see outside of work for lunch or such and some I have their phone numbers... and even call and text them.
they are friends nothing more.
so he told you for two years they did not speak EVER (not even at work?)
and you now blow up at him because he has to talk to her at work and you think he's lying?
why so insecure with him? has he ever given you reason to doubt him before?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 December 2012):
Maybe I'm missing something (your story isn't very clear), but I'm guessing he didn't say anything about it because he knew you'd act like this! You haven't indicated that he's done anything wrong yet somehow he's managed to betray you? Btw, having a female friend is not wrong, especially if there is no out of work contact between them. I feel like I must be missing something here because if I'm not than it seems that you are entirely to blame here and I see nothing wrong with what he's done. I'm an honest guy but I would have lied to you as well to avoid the overreaction you've shown here.
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